A Picture of Visanthe Shiancoe Holding a Pig

shankopig

This is Visanthe Shiancoe. You probably know him best as that tight end for the Minnesota Vikings that you were so frustrated with in his first year after he continually dropped balls. And he couldn’t catch the football either (Zing!). Now, he’s more adept at both, making television highlights with all of his assets, football and otherwise.

This is a picture of Visanthe Shiancoe that Vikings wide receiver Sidney Rice posted on his Twitter account last night. For some reason, Shiancoe is holding a pig in a store. Is there some understandable context that I can provide for this picture? Realistically, no. If I were to guess, and believe it or not this would be my pure speculation, I would say that Shiancoe was with Rice as they went to go purchase some RAW (seen behind them) at a store. It was then that a pig burst out of a container on the lower levels of the shelving and starting squealing and running around the store, most likely defecating all over the floor as well. Because pigs are filthy, but taste delicious when cooked right. Luckily, Sidney and Visanthe have been training pretty hard all off season and they had just enough field vision and agility to predict the path of the wild pig before cornering it near a rack of bacon in the refrigerated section of the store.

But what was Shiancoe going to do? Put the pig back in its broken box and have it spring free again on some unsuspecting customer? That would be stupid. Kick it out the door and let it run wild? Of course not. Looking at that pig trapped in the corner, slowly wetting itself, I’m sure Visanthe saw a glimmer of his self in those squealing, delicious bacony eyes and knew he couldn’t treat this wild, lost animal with anything but the utmost kindness. So here he is, cradling the frightened animal with the strength and support of a gentle giant, convincing himself to carry him home, share his RAW with him, and treat him like his own son.

bacon

Until he can butcher the pig for bacon. God, I fucking love bacon.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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