Note: While I almost threw up because of a mixture of a weak stomach and sickening feeling for Mr. Henderson, this article is by no means here to poke fun at EJ’s injury. Rather, it’s to note that EJ is a total badass, and I’m like 1000% certain this is what’s going through his head right now …
In the waning minutes of the Vikings game against the Cardinals, Vikings middle linebacker EJ Henderson laid on the turf in Arizona with medical personnel, friends and family around him. His face was contorted, his leg was being stabilized, and his teammate’s faces were downtrodden.
“Was I heart broken?” EJ Henderson said to us in an exclusive interview. “Yeah, I was heart broken. I came back this year after my season ending injury last year and was just starting to get into the groove of things when we come here to Arizona, I’m playing all beast mode even though we’re getting guido punched, and then this happens.”
By this, you mean of course your broken leg?
“What?” EJ said to us with surprise. “No, idiot, I’m talking about the tackle I missed. I can’t believe I let my teammates down like that.”
Reviewing the tape, it does indeed reveal that EJ Henderson missed a tackle on the play in question, although hardly anyone would notice. Watching the incident again, it’s almost impossible not to gravitate one’s eyes towards the collision between Jamarca Sanford and EJ Henderson that undoubtedly ended Henderson’s fantastic 2009 campaign prematurely. Asking other players to chime in on EJ’s thoughts and we hear similar sentiments.
“He missed a tackle?” Ben Leber said in a daze. “I don’t even remember what was happening on that play. I keep trying to run it back in my head in slow motion, but every time I get to the part where EJ’s leg gets destroyed my brain just freezes cold and images of my huddles in a barn corner as a child in the fetal position with a fire burning all around me comes to the forefront … and then I black out. … I … I don’t think I could ever watch EJ’s clip again. He missed a tackle? Really?”
Unable to convince Leber about what EJ say during the game, we went straight to the second play in the collision, Jamarca Sanford, for his thoughts on what happened, and if EJ was even in position to make that tackle.
“Oh, you best believe he was in position to make that tackle, AND I FUCKED IT ALL UP!” Sanford said, shaking in uncontrollable fits. Readers, Sanford, the rookie out of Ole Miss, simply hasn’t been the same since his hit on EJ. This is critical news for Viking fans, as he may get the nod to start after Tyrell Johnson suffered a concussion in the second half and may sit out against Cincinnati. “I was bull rushing the Cards player like WHAT when EJ ran out of the right corner of my eye like he was going to murder that guy. His passion got me jacked up and I wanted to hit the Cardinal too, maybe make a bird sammich, but that little fuck slipped out of our trajectory and I smacked right into EJ’s knee. God, I feel fucking terrible. I’ve thrown up bile probably 14 times since Sunday night when the sound of his leg breaking fills my head again. I haven’t seen anything that gruesome since a frat night in Mississippi.”
With his teammates obviously feeling terrible for the injury that EJ sustained, as well as appearing to brush off the alleged missed tackle that Henderson feels confident he could have made, alerting EJ to these facts has yet to change his mind.
“They’re worried about my leg?” He said after waking up from surgery in an Arizona hospital. “This? Pff. This’ll be fine. The doctors keep telling me I could run in like three months, but I tell them they’re stupid. They do realize I’m EJ Henderson, right? I’ve played football on two broken legs before, and a broken heart. That hearts much worse. If I wouldn’t have felt like such an idiot for missing that tackle I would have stayed out on the field in Arizona as well to finish the game up. No big deal.”
Aghast, the doctors simply shook their head. “It’s amazing that he’s so comfortable as he is right now. That was a pretty bad break.”
EJ laughs at this. “Bad break. Missing the tackle was a bad break. I’ll be back in two weeks guys, don’t worry about me.”
What a bad ass. Rest up, EJ, see you next year.