Getting to Know … Percy Harvin

The NFL Draft was this weekend and after the dust had settled, the Minnesota Vikings were able to walk away with five separate players that could readily contribute to the team. In our week long effort to introduce all five individuals, we’ll begin by getting to know former Florida Wide Receiver and the Vikings first round pick, Percy Harvin, a bit better …

What? Ha, uh, I am so high right now ...

What? Ha, uh, I am so high right now ...

Name: Percy Harvin. Uh, sometimes at Florida, the announcer would call, uh, me Percy “Have Mercy” Harvin, uh, but some people just call me “The Matrix” too. Age: Uh, 20 years old right now, sir. College and college position: I, uh, played at the great University of Florida as a wide receiver, but uh, really, just a jack of all trades, sir. Uh, I caught the ball, ran with the ball, threw the ball, and could, uh, do punt and kick returns if they had needed me to do so, sir. I was also the uh, main hook up contact for a lot of the incoming freshman, because I uh, had the best connections, obviously, sir. Thoughts on the team: Oh man, it’s an exciting feeling to be playing for the Minneapolis … Uh, Minnesota Vikings. They got some real great players here that I am excited to uh, contribute with, sir. I mean, Adrian Peterson is an amazing football player, they have as a uh, fast guy as well on the outside, and the, uh, the … quarterback … uh … yeeeaaaahhh … *pe-tchoow* … pretty exciting. Maybe that’s what I’ll be playing? Ha ha … First feeling when you got drafted: Ha, oh man, I was just so excited. I couldn’t believe that this whole process was, uh, over, that I knew where I was going to be going to and play in the, uh, NFL. It was exciting, sir. I thought they said it was the Patriots that selected me at first though, so uh, I was real jacked up then, but the Vikings are, uh, I mean, they’re a great … uh, organization as well. So uh, as long as they keep writing those checks, I guess, uh, it will be great either way. First thing you’ll do with your check: Ha, oh, uh, first thing I’ll do with the check? Uh, well, probably buy a nice place to live up here. I uh, my family has always moved around to support me, so I, uh, am going to try to pay off any old house bills we have uh, and then also buy them a place up here, uh, to stay when they come to see me play. I, uh, guess I have some other things that I plan on spending some dollars on, uh, some beautiful plants to put in my house, maybe invest in a, uh, green house, and put that out back. I’m just really into nature, sir. Your family is moving to Minnesota?: Uh, yes sir, well, my sister is at least. It’s funny, like I said, they have always followed me to where I’ve gone to help me grow … uh, grow up, sir. Uh, from Virgina Beach in high school to Florida when I went to school there. Uh, they’ve always followed and have been my support network. I don’t know though, when I, uh, came up here for a personal workout early this year, it uh, was all covered in white. I thought it was the greatest collection of blow ever seen! I mean, uh, we don’t get that stuff down south, and I’m real used to warm temperatures, so uh, I’ll have to make sure me and my family burn something to keep warm.
Hai. Youz can has football now.

Hai. Youz can has football now.

Jersey number selection: Yeah, uh, I guess you can’t have single digits in the NFL, which was a surprise for me. I’ve been watching football all my life, and uh, I guess it was a rule they must have just changed. I uh, wore number one in college because that’s who I would look out for was, uh, me, number one, so I was thinking of number 11 with the Vikings, but I guess someone has that number. I uh, I mean, I’ll probably be able to take it from them when they get cut from camp, but for now, I’ll take number 12, because it’s, uh, the second time I’ve had one, like once in college, and then the first one in 12, means there is uh, two times that I’ve had one. So … yeah, uh, 12 looks good. Ha. You smoked pot right before the combine?: Well, sir, I uh, can’t really comment on that one way or the other. I will say this about the combine though, uh, is that they never really prepare you for it. They never, uh, straight out say that this is like a real job interview or anything for uh, millions of dollars. I mean, I thought I was just going to run around with uh, my shirt off and catch balls, no homo. I mean, I could uh, do that after a coke binge the night before with a stripper still strapped to my face, sir. But uh, I never knew that it was uh, going to be such a big deal. I mean, who’s ever heard of the combine before, right? Isn’t uh, that like a tractor or something you guys drive up here? Anyway, uh, I know I’ve made some mistakes but I’ve moved on. That leads to questions about your character: Listen, sir, with all due respect, I uh, just said that I have made some mistakes but that I’ve moved on, ok? Like every 20 year old kid, you do some things you’re not proud of but you learn from them and continue to grow and … what? What??! HEY! I SAID THAT I’VE GROWN UP AND HAVE LEARNED, OK? YOU WANT TO QUESTION MY CHARACTER? HUH??! YOU WANT TO ASK ABOUT HOW I HANDLE MY ANGER ISSUES MAYBE? GET UP HERE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT, I WILL WRECK YOU I SWEAR TO GOD!! YOU THINK THIS SHIT IS FUNNY?? YOU THINK I’M NOT JUST A TICKING TIME BOMB WAITING TO BASH SOMEONES NOSE BONE RIGHT INTO THEIR BRAIN AT THE SLIGHTEST OFF HANDED COMMENT ABOUT MY PAST?? I WILL RUIN YOU, YOU CHICKEN SHIT PIECE OF ASS! Parting words: FUCK ALL OF YOU! RIGHT IN THE PANTS!! I AM DONE WITH THIS! … Sorry, I uh, I lost my cool for a moment. But uh, I’m really looking forward to turning over a new leaf here in Minnesota and can hopefully help by being a good teammate and bringing a uh, championship to this state. Thanks.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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