*Psst* Hey, closeted nerds and pseudo masochists! Do you love the violence of football but hate the muscles and lack of magic spells cast? Well now you can come out of your basement lairs and mountain caves because we’ve got just the perfect social gender bending piece of apparel for you!
Introducing the awe inspiring and gremlin dusting Minnesota Vikings Dungeon Hooded Sweatshirt! Escape into a world of intrigue and pillage when you don this Minnesota Vikings sweatshirt with its fear inducing horned hood and its menacing black visage. You’ll become the poster boy for rape and theft in your dungeon club! What other self loathing teenager will have as much style and flair as you will once you purchase this rare item? This authentically thin cotton sweatshirt will provide both minimal warmth and, if worn correctly, a level four invisibility spell! The mismatch of colors will blend in seamlessly with the rest of your wardrobe and the deep hued black and purple can serve several different functions. Not only will it easily cover the blood leaking from your shredded arms after a long night of crying and cutting, but it will also provide ample shadow blending ability as you gawk openly at those strange female creatures from the dark corners of your lunch room. And it works pretty well to cover the horrifying pock marks on your face from when your forehead gets covered in sweat during late night stints of World of Warcraft and limited time Mtn Dew binges! And the best part of it all? The jocks will have to double take this fine piece of apparel and will have to admit that even their beloved sports has a vampire-ish dark side to it!
So what are you waiting for? Start your Viking raids today! Go stab an old person in their bed at night, steal their last remaining assets or other valuables and sell them to a local pawn shop so that you may be the first social circle bending pasty faced masochist in your group! You won’t regret it, and if you do … just cut yourself again!