Quick Hits: Getting to Know … Jasper Brinkley

There, in writing it says, "I did not smash your mother."

There, in writing it says, "I did not smash your mother."

This is Jasper Brinkley. He was selected by the Vikings in the 2009 NFL draft in the 5th round after the Vikings traded up to select him, because they thought he could wrestle a moose to the ground single handedly. He played LB at South Carolina, and had a serious knee injury in 2007 that caused devastation to USC’s defense, when, in reality, it was probably just because Spurrier is a huge doucher. His brother is named Casper, yes, Casper and Jasper are brothers, and also played at USC, but left a year early. Jasper was thought to be a much higher rated prospect than the 5th round, but there may have been concerns about his knee injury and his possible recovery from said injury, as well as thoughts that he may have started the swine flu because of a pig fetish. He is not thought to be a typical line backer that could play in the Cover 2 type of defense that is employed by the Vikings, but seems to have been drafted to be the primary back up to all pro EJ Henderson, because Henderson had a wiener of an injury last year, hurting his toes. Now we get to waste a draft pick as insurance.

So congrats, Jasper Brinkley, you will most likely make the team as a wedge buster on special teams, increasing your chances of catastrophic neck injury a thousand fold. Keep that helmet tight!

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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