Breaking News: Childress Sounds like a Moron

Alright everyone, settle down. You may find this almost impossible to believe, but Brad Childress came off sounding like a moron that I’d love to kick a boot through his asshole when he was talking about the Patriots coming up on Sunday. He recalled the whimsical years of 2006 when these teams last played each other and had this to say:

“I’m mindful of the last time we faced [the Patriots] here on Monday Night Football,” said Childress, referring to the 2006 meeting in which Brady threw for 372 yards and four TDs in a 31-7 win. ”It was like a surgical procedure. That’s back when we used to signal [plays] and things like that. I remember having a conversation with [then-defensive coordinator] Mike Tomlin about that. These were some of the all-time great signal stealers. In fact, that’s what was going on. They were holding, holding, holding. We were signaling from the sideline. They were good at it. It’s like stealing signals from a catcher.”

Well congrats, you whiny little bitch. You sound like a fat kid who just got his cookie stolen at lunch, then had to slap his own stomach fat for the cool kids as entertainment. And ever since then, all you’ve tried to do is beat Bill Belichick at his own games, and you’ve failed miserably each time. Remember Garrett Mills? Maybe you’ll even remember this recent Randy Moss trade that has worked out so well? Belichick owns your balding ass and he knows you’ll never pull poon like he does.


Also, I can only imagine what Tom Brady had to say about this.

Actually, don’t imagine, this is what he said:

“That game was so long ago. … I remember us executing pretty well that night. I’ve heard different guys in the past say that. That’s come and gone. That’s been not a part of football here for a long time, and we’ve still won a lot of games. In ‘07, they changed the rule and so forth. I don’t buy a whole lot into that. The team that’s going to win this weekend is the team that plays better. I can promise you that.”

I think what he actually meant to say was “Haha, that group of purple queers? Yeah, I smeared them into their own turf while getting a blumpkin at half time. I barely even remember if I played the second half. They were a pretty cute team that night though. They gave me a pretty decent erection, so congrats on that.”

This team fucking sucks.


About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.