Dan Hampton is an A-Hole, I’m Jealous

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As we prepare for the kick off of the NFL season this Thursday when the Vikings head down to Nawlins to face the Saints, it seems weird to be sitting here talking about Dan Hampton. It’s probably really weird because, despite him being in the Hall of Fame, he’d be crushed to learn I had no idea who he was before this and will quickly forget his name, as I am terrible with them in real life. Regardless, Dan Hampton wants to remind us that Katrina jokes aren’t too soon:

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I have several issues with this.

First of all, hey asshole, only jack ass bloggers get to make poorly made Katrina jokes about New Orleans, OK? And if you’re going to make a Katrina joke, at least do it right. You’re not being successful if you’re not mentioning something about rape, looting, racism, or things along those lines. You can’t just say “KATRINA!” and then derp around on camera. Katrina isn’t the joke itself, it’s the set up.

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Secondly, we’ve already established that the people from New Orleans can’t even feel bad about Katrina any more after winning the Super Bowl. Sorry, dudes, that’s how it works. You rode that sick puppy for five years until the NFL gave you a Super Bowl trophy, so you can’t fall back on it anymore. Did winning the Super Bowl actually help build new homes, develop technological advancements for your new levy’s or clear out all the oil in your gulf? Of course not, but you’re a bunch of lazy assholes who don’t like to work, so go fuck yourself. Oh, and the oil spill excuse won’t work either. You can’t just keep creating new disasters for yourself once you cash in all the karma points from the last one.

Finally, even Katrina jokes are feeling kind of trite now. And fuck, that is depressing. If you can’t joke about a bunch of people dying, getting raped, and being displaced, what can you joke about? Is Drew Brees’ birthmark still fair game? DO we move on to the oil spill? Rape is always offensive, right? What about Darren Sharper being a pussy?

Regardless, I admit that this video, while short, stupid and pointless, did get me angry enough where I am ready to get wasted and pass out by half time Thursday night. Between now and then, there will be more hate, as PJD kicks off the NFL season, frowny-face style.

Oh, and Hampton already apologized for the remark, but fuck that. That’s all you need to do? Take note, Mel Gibson.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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