Denny Green has had Better Days

As we all know, many former Vikings have left the team to go on to other pastures. Sometimes they were greener, sometimes they were poopy browner. For instance, former coach Dennis Green left the Vikings to work in TV for a little while, before becoming the head coach of the Arizona Cardinals, where he became famous for his “crowning their ass” tirade. After that delicate affair, he finds himself coaching the UFL’s Sacramento Mountain Lions team with another former Viking player, Daunte Culpepper. While neither coach nor player are probably where they want to be EXACTLY (I imagine both would prefer playing for a Super Bowl rather than … whatever bowl the UFL plays for), I doubt that they are going to complain. Why? Because Dennis Green’s son has it much worse after he was arrested over the weekend on suspicion of child pornography. Ouch.

Jeremy Green, the son of former NFL coach Dennis Green, no longer has a job as an NFL analyst at ESPN after being arrested this week on a child pornography charge in Connecticut.

Bristol police say the 38-year-old Green was picked up on Thursday around 5 p.m. in a Southington hotel and charged with possession of child pornography, possession of narcotics and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Hey, child pornographers, why does it always have to be in hotels that you get picked up in? And why are you bringing your child porn with you to a hotel? A couple of other things …:

Child porn isn’t really funny, except for just how ridiculous and disgusting it is, so let’s just be clear that I’m not trying to make a joke out of this here. Moreso, I’m baffled and perplexed by the human thought that goes into something like this.

1. Are child porn and drugs tied together somehow? How often do you hear of someone getting picked up for child porn when they DON’T have an eight ball with them, or pounds of weed in the trunk?

2. Denny is probably on the verge of losing his shit again. When you flip out over losing to the Bears in admittedly embarrassing fashion, I don’t even want to know what you’re reaction is going to be when you have to pick your son up on bail at the local jail for child porn. Awkward conversation is awkward.

3. The story said bail is set at $750,000. Uh … Can Denny even afford that on a UFL salary? My guess is no.

4. Also, not TOTALLY surprising that someone who works for ESPN may partake in some checkered behavior, child porn or otherwise.

5. Twilight Moms are disgusted, I’m sure. Of course, they’ll spit their vitriol towards Jeremy Green right before they go back to their bedroom TV and watch New Moon with their Edward panties on for the 80th time. Fucking weirdos.

Anyway, sorry to hear that Denny. All of a sudden being hidden in the anonymity of the UFL isn’t such a terrible thing after all.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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