Droppin’ Knowledge with a Capital J – Sanford is a Manimal

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It’s a special treat for you, reader, as Vikings fan and proprietor of the ever successful and stalwart Vikings blog Capital J’s Corner, the aptly named Capital J, has offered his skills, talent and insight to do the occasional piece here at PJD. Tentatively we’re calling it “Droppin’ Knowledge with a Capital J”, but if anyone can come up with a better name I’m all ears. Also, as further fellating of Capital J, if you never followed his training camp write ups during the summer over these past three or four years you have been missing out. His analysis, insight on those who could make the team, and knowledge of the team’s position and depth, top to bottom, is bar none. We’re excited to have him around. He does need to work on some more dick jokes though. That’ll … cum? … with time, but hopefully not too soon (see what I did there??! I’m show myself out.) We’re going to do this in a conversation, poor man’s Abbot and Costello act, where Capital J will hit you with some REAL SHIT and then I’ll provide no insight whatsoever (in italics of course), and then he’ll make fun of me when he deems it appropriate. We’ll see how it goes. If you have any questions, comments, or insight for him feel free to leave them in the comments or hit him on his Twitter page. The dude could use some more followers. Let’s get to this! 1. Jamarca Sanford is clearly the better safety between him and Tyrell Johnson and the coaching staff is starting to ease him into more playing time with the defense. Tyrell Johnson just misses far too many tackles and that’s the only time he seems to show up. Sanford’s play, aside from ripping off EJ Henderson’s leg, has been stellar. The Vikings got great value getting him in the 7th round. - So Tyrell gets sat because he didn’t put someone’s femur through a shredder? That shit’s cold. The safety play for the Vikings has seemed nonexistent, but I can’t tell it that’s a bad thing or not. Is this all Tyrell’s fault? The only thing I know is that I can blame Sanford for being a human missile that has destroyed at least one life, and if he would have broken the femur of someone on the other team I would be calling for him to start too. Maybe that’s what the coaches see. Except for Childress, because I’m sure he’s afraid of blood. 2. The Vikings will either play Dallas or the winner of the Arizona and Green Bay game this weekend. They get the team with the higher seed. The Saints of course then would play either the Eagles or the winner of the Arizona and Green Bay game if the Cowboys win. - Clearly the Vikings will be playing the Packers then, because our luck is worse than a Bizarro Leprechaun. I don’t want the Vikings to play ANY of those teams. At all. I mean the fucking Eagles are the sixth seed and they would prison rape the Vikings. Who do you choose? – Hopefully not Dallas or Arizona. The last thing we need is 250 shots of Tony Romo’s latest celebrity gf or Brenda Warner doing an awkward dance again. 3. A Green Bay at Minnesota game could happen again. Oh, what a story line. - Oh what a heart breaker for Vikings fans. Oh what a disaster if they lost. Oh how many website hits would PJD get? So many. So many dreamy website hits. 4. Brett Favre is good at football…at home. - At home or indoors? He did ok in Detroit early in the year, didn’t he? I’m just thinking out loud here … We were down in the first half but that game Favre had about 150 yards, two touchdowns, and multiple sacks where he ended up on his saggy old ass. Those aren’t his fault entirely though. Arizona was indoors kind of too. That one was an owie. Oh! The Rams game! That game was awesome. Particularly because of the Rams throw backs. Am I missing anything? – At home or in a dome is his throne, on grass or outdoors he’s ass. 5. Congrats to Percy Harvin, who was named as the 9th Vikings pro-bowler this week. He and Sidney Rice become the first Viking WR duo to make the Pro-Bowl since Carter and Moss did it. Harvin though, will be officially listed as KR for the NFC. - Who cares though that he’s listed as a KR? Having him in the Pro-Bowl is deserved and fucking awesome. He’ll see playing time at different positions besides KR, wouldn’t you think? And he’s going to bring all his hood rat friends up in Florida and get the ENTIRE NFL Pro-Bowl squad fuuuuuucked uuuuuuup. Look for the Super Bowl to be delayed because of the cloud of smoke over the stadium. 6. Speaking of WR’s, there has been a lot of talk among rubes about letting an go this off-season. My response? Doesn’t make sense. His contract was completely front-loaded, meaning he’s not set to make a significant amount of money right now and is not tying up the salary cap. He’s still a good WR, and let’s not forget a trio of Rice, Harvin, andn is worlds better than Williamson, Wade, and Ferguson. Not to mention he’s been hampered with hamstring problems all season and never really got into a good groove with Favre. I expect him to make a splash in the playoffs and prove a lot of people wrong. - *Shudders* The thought of Williamson, Wade and Ferguson makes me want to slap a child right now. I agree. I don’t get the desire to release either. I think you’re right too that people say it’s a money issue. Really, rubes? You mean it’ll be a money issue during an uncapped year for a front loaded contract? God I hate people. And who would you have instead? Training camp Supah Stah! Jaymar Johnson? That WR trio sounds like a bust of epic Detroit Lion proportions. I’m ok with. 7. How did Visanthe Shiancoe and his 11 inch … errr I mean … TD catches not make the Pro-Bowl? He’ll probably get it next year, not that the Pro-Bowl matters much anymore. - It doesn’t in the grand scheme of things, but the players still get financial incentives if they get voted in, so I’m sure Shank would love a little extra dough to line his pockets so he could buy more Hefty Bags for condoms. Just kidding. He doesn’t wear any. He pays for the Morning After Pill and the higher quality coat hangers. You know, the metal ones that you can unwrap, but not the metal ones that rust easily. The bendable stainless steel ones, if there are such a thing. Ew. Who was better in the NFC than Shank this year? – Vernon Davis had a breakout year and Jason Witten had a solid year catching Romo’s balls. - Oh right, Vernon Davis decides to finally show up. True story: I had both Davis and Shank on my fantasy team this year. They were rated like the number one and number two tight ends. Did anyone want to trade for a tight end? Of course not. So I was stuck with two great tight ends to go in one spot. Also, not a sex joke. 8. Naufahu Tahi caught a TD pass. Rejoice! A side note, Tahi’s pre-snap stance makes him look like Buddha and so does his bald head and 3 strands of facial hair. - Gross. I don’t usually think of what Tahi looks like without his helmet on, but you just painted a disgusting picture. Kind of like a darker Mark Boone Junior. Go Google him. You’ll vomit. Also, whenever I think of Tahi I always think of tahini sauce. Weird. 9. Even after missing nearly a month, EJ Henderson finished 2nd on the team in tackles in 2009. His replacement, Jasper Brinkley, has improved of late, but the Vikings will still need to sign a veteran MLB next season, assuming EJ will not be ready to go yet. - I guess I didn’t even think of that. Who’s on the FA market for linebackers next year? Could Leber move into the middle? Maybe they should just resign Chester Taylor and put PJ back at LB. COULD YOU IMAGINE?? He’d fucking kill people back there. – Did you hear who dropped the ball at midnight last week? PJ! - God I hate you. Big thanks to Capital J for doing this and hopefully he stops by again in the future. Again, go check out his blog and follow him on Twitter where he’ll always be Droppin’ Knowledge!

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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