There are four players on the Vikings that deserve to be on a fantasy football team this year, and I'm stretching that definition by including the defense. And even then, that's a MAYBE. You have Adrian Peterson and his league leading yardage, Percy Harvin and his league leading receptions, Blair Walsh with his golden leg (probably good for a bye week start) and the Vikings defense, because what are you going to do, start the Raiders? OK.
If you're starting anyone beyond that, you've already lost your league. I learned that quick. I think I drafted Christian Ponder in one league and dropped him by week three because he was just eating up roster space. My crowning achievement was starting Kyle Rudolph one week over a gimpy Rob Gronkowski. Guess who had two touchdowns and who didn't?
Lesson? Drop your Vikings players, or at least trade the good ones to me. Let's do this recap.
Editor's Note or whatever – I'm super lazy this week and am not doing a full blown recap. Instead here's some notes to discuss in the comments below. But certainly, if I miss anything, let me know and we'll chat about it, or I'll at least call you names:
– Very Tight Butthole got back to his winning ways and became the team with the best record so far this season at 6-2. The worst ceremoniously belongs to Legit Roethlisberger at 2-6, which teaches us a valuable lesson … That God WANTED him to go 2-6, and if it wasn't suppose to happen, his team would have found a way to reject that record and be a winner.
– Speaking of Very Tight Buttholes, they also have the lead league in point total for the season at 565. Close behind (the Very Tight Butthole … That's a funny sentence there) is Feisty Fingers with her 5-3 record and 528 point total on the year. I told y'all … Watch out for the finger bangings. She's 'coming'!
– The division, "Harvin's Swisher Sweets" clearly sucks. Probably because the PJD team is in it. at a paltry 5-3, I hold the best record in the division. I also hold the highest point total on the year at 499, which means that no one in the Harvin division has topped 500 points total on the year. WEAK REPS, BRO. The "Ponder' Absent Shirts" division has three teams who've tallied over 500 points. They be good. Maybe.
– The two cellar dwellers in the divisions at the aforementioned Legit Roethlisberger and Victorious Secrets. But you look at the total points against them this year and they both equal 532. You would figure that by year's end, everyone's points against total would even out, but I'm still waiting for that to happen. Otherwise, it just says that these two guys have some real shitty luck.
– Right now, Percy Poppin' and Peyton's Robot Neck are the only two teams from the Harvin division that would make it into the playoffs. Percy Poppin' would be the #2 seed and Peyton's the #6 seed. Apparently playoffs are by overall record, and not division based. I mean, whatever I guess, but holy crap, some people better step their game up.
– Last week I predicted Cheeseheads to upset Feisty Fingers. I was wrong, dropping my prediction record on the year to 3-3-1. Woohoo, mediocrity! This week, I'm eye banging the Bring the Weeden vs. Cheeseheads match up. Currently, Cheese is #5 in playoff seeding while Weeden is #9. However, with a Weeden win, fortunes could easily flip. That's how precarious this situation is, just like the East coast! If I had to pick though, I'd still pick Cheese and his roster of Brees, Peterson, and Julio to gang bang Weeden's, so pencil in a Cheese victory prediction.
Good luck, kind of, and I hope none of you actually make the playoffs.