Feeling Up your Draft Picks 2010: Chris Cook

With the 2010 NFL Draft officially in the books, it is now time to sit the new fresh meat down and POUND them for info on who the hell you are exactly. Today, we start with the Vikings first draft pick, which was actually in the second round, former Virginia CB Chris Cook:

Name: Christopher Christopherson Cookington Cook. …. No, that’d be a balls sucking name. Chris Cook is fine. And no, we’re not nicknaming him “C-Cook” or “Chris Cock” or “C Dubs” or any stupid shit like that. Although … If he ends up sucking I will open the name calling up with Chris Cock for sure.

Measurables: Cook is a six foot, two inch tall cornerback that weighs in at 210 pounds, with eight of his pounds coming from the metal plate in his broken leg, undoubtedly. At the NFL Combine, he ran a 4.46 second 40 yard dash, and only bench pressed whatever it is the bench, like 225 or something, which is a total puss move. I’m pretty sure my 90 year old grandma could bench that. This’ll be great when Cook is lined up across from Calvin Johnson and gets abused by Megatron’s didlo arms. Oh, and he jumps high, as high as my ejaculate stream (38 inches, mind you).

Three smiles: Ok, really here. Cook has pretty good size. A six foot two inch CB is not something that the Vikings have on their team and is something they desperately needed in their defensive backfield; size. While scrappy little cornerbacks like Winfield and Asher Allen are fun to prop up and talk about their “little spirit”, they also get fisted by real NFL receivers. So having someone who could develop into a shut down corner that is actually a large dude is pretty sweet. Cook has experience too, as he was good enough to get on the field as a true freshman at Virginia. Sure, it’s Virginia, and that state and school kind of suck, but it’s still technically a D1 school. So … at least he’s got that going for him.

No smiles: Well, aside from the broken leg, a knee injury, being academically ineligible all of 2008, and the strong possibility that the Vikings could have drafted Cook much later in the second round, he’s a great pick! If you can’t tell, I’m being sarcastic. Look, Cook might turn out to be great, and there was an obvious need to upgrade the CB position. However, it really sounds like the Vikings reached for Cook after they got burned for Kyle Wilson and Patrick Robinson. Was there anyone else that the Vikings should have taken at the 33rd pick? You can argue for a quarterback, but I believe a bit more in the argument that for a team like the Vikings, you should be drafting immediate impact players when you’re so close to the Super Bowl. Cook may be that, at least as a nickel or dime back initially, with potential to be a starter opposite Cedric in the long term. However. The kid has a busted up leg and decided he didn’t want to do homework anymore for a while, so you sit there and wonder … really? That’s what blew us away about him? Come on, Vikes, just admit that you reached and let’s move on.

How he’ll fit in: There was speculation that Cook would be moved to safety as he’s a speedy playmaker which … well, the Vikings have Tyrell and Madeiu at safety, so that should explain a lot. The problem is that Cook has been said to not be a great open field tackler (hurray!) and so having him at safety would guarantee that I’d spoon out the intestines of a baby emu. Apparently Cook has already been told that he’ll be a cornerback who will fight for a starting position and, long term, you could see him being the starter opposite Cedric Griffin, assuming of course the Griffin’s own knee decides to liquid Terminator itself back together. In 2010, Cook doesn’t have any pressure to step in and do anything right away, as Winfield, Lito Sheppard, and even Asher Allen (I guess) will get to see most of the reps at CB. Good, because there’s nothing worse than seeing a rookie CB get burned by an NFL receiver. Oh wait … it was worse seeing Smoot get burned as a veteran. Nevermind.

Which Vikings player is upset about this pick: You have to think Asher Allen is PISSED. Allen reminds me of Dustin Fox kind of or Greg Blue, a Vikings’ draft pick that was thought to have potential but then just disappeared. OO!! Wait! He reminds me of Marcus McCauley, who can go do in kerosene. Sure, Allen and Cook are two different kinds of CBs, but looking long term you figure Cedric is entrenched as a starter and Cook has the size of a starter. For Allen, I wonder what it would be like to have your business card say “Professional Nickleback”. Do you think people would confuse him with the band?

Why I like this pick: Because I actually think he’ll be a pretty good player. His value and grade out (or potential, whatever, I’m not a scout) kind of reminds me of Sidney Rice, so if Cook has the same work ethic he could be equally as good. I like having him on the team, I just think the pick was a bit high. However,  I fully anticipate doing retarded PJD columns where I have Chris Cook narrate cooking recipes and starring in his own cooking show ala Julia Childs. “Cooking with Chris” or “Chris can Cook” or “Lockdown Cooking” or something along those lines. You feature name suggestions are welcome in the comments.

What are your feelings? Good pick? Bad pick? Suicide watch pick? Let’s hear it.


About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.