In what can only be described as a move seen from a video game that would make your head assplode, it appears that, holy shit, Ladainian Tomlinson, broken toe and everything, is seriously in Minnesota, like, RIGHT FUCKING NOW, and probably going to sign a contract.
Again … Wat?!?
There are two ways of thinking about this move. One thought, which seems to be the predominant one, makes you go “FUUUCCCCKKK YEEEAAAHH this is going to make us unstoppable!!!!!!!!11!1!!!!onelolololol!!!!”
The other thought is to be realistic. There are a lot of politics that will go into a move like this and some harsh realities. Sure, in a vacuum where running backs never aged, got injured, or pouted on the sidelines, having both LT and (in this fantasy world where running backs also never fumble) Adrian Peterson in the same backfield gives me a massive broner. But things don’t always make me erect like this, and so we’re left to a flaccid reality that LT has been worked like the Junior
High girl with huge tits behind the football bleachers. And he’s old. Super old for a running back. Like Brett Favre old. And that means that he’s matter of factly just not as good a he used to be, like Matthew Broderick. Also, this is a guy that averaged 3.3 yards per carry and 52.1 yards a game behind an offensive line that must have been a trillion times better than Bryant McKinnie. How will he ever be better in Minnesota?
But what if? What if LT found even like three games where he could play like he used to? Jesus I would cream my self. But let’s just wait and see what happens before we get ahead of ourselves here. Nothing worse than being premature, amirite??!
Also, as an aside, when the Vikings have been trying to woo free agents in the past they’ve usually taken them to Manny’s Steak House or other places like that. Not a bad option. I would have taken him to Mayslacks, but whatever. It makes you wonder though, most places would woo someone Ina private suite at a basketball game but … Shit. Hopefully they steered VERY clear of Target Center last night, otherwise LT would be on the first plane out of here to like … Cleveland? That’s not right …