LIONS WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

I haven’t really told anyone here this yet, but I’ve really liked what the Lions have done so far this offseason. The roster moves they have made as well as their position and potential moves in the draft, this year and last, are shaping them up to be one hell of an awesome team.

EXCEPT FOR WHEN YOU TRADE AWAY ERNIE SIMS, YOU IDIOTS.

Yesterday, it was announced that the Lions had taken part in a three way trade that somehow worked out. Essentially, it ended up with the Lions getting Tony Scheffler and the Eagles getting Ernie Sims. Denver, Scheffler’s former team, got something. Whether it was AIDS or H1N1 is yet to be determined, but it’s pretty much exactly what they deserve. Also, now that Brady Quinn is there, he has Eddie Royal to throw to and that’s it. Honestly. I think they traded away their entire team. But no one cares about the Broncos, so let’s move on.

The Lions, NFC North opponents to the Vikings, obtained tight end Tony Scheffler. This is odd, as Tony Scheffler is most likely going to demand starter type attention and salary and the Lions last year drafted a fucking stud of a man at tight end in Brandon Pettigrew. As Kevin Seifert pointed out though, this may indicate that Pettigrew (who tore his ACL? I don’t remember that at all) isn’t quite on the mend as people thought, and that a bonafide tight end is still needed in the Detroit “offense”. I put quotation marks around it because it makes it look like I’m using the term offense sarcastically when referencing Detroit. Teehee!

While this all may be the case, I have to warn you that I have a major boner for Ernie Sims. Let’s look at some facts here and we can discover why. First, his name is Ernie Sims. How cool is that? It’s pretty cool, and really, you can’t argue it. Ernie is an awesome name for a scary looking black dude. It’s kind of a trick, where he’s given a name that maybe doesn’t sounds scary, but he MAKES it scary. When he’s hunting you. Also, Sims is a pretty badass name too, even if it reminds me of Phil Sims, but then I think of Joe Theisman (because I confuse those two, you see), then Lawrence Taylor, and then how awesome it was when LT broke Theisman’s leg FOREVER. Ergo, Ernie Sims killed Joe Theisman. It’s irrefutable.

But not only this, Ernie Sims is actually a pretty good linebacker. Sure, as Seifert points out in that article again, maybe Sims doesn’t fit in Schwartz’s defensive scheme now as he is quicker and a bit more undersized. Fine by me. Now Percy Harvin and Peterson can just run past Detroit’s fat linebackers. Whatever. The only bad part here is that Sims still ended up in the NFC with the Eagles, and with the connections always apparent between the Eagles and the Vikings, one can only be assured that Sims will be a Vikings when he’s 37. Hurray!

By now, you’re probably wondering why you bothered reading an entire article about the Lions and Ernie Sims. Well, the point here is the Lions are making moves that aren’t stupid and may actually be getting better. People love to shit on them for being terrible, but I’ve slowly been trying to tell people that the Lions are coming up. While I don’t like seeing them trade away a badass like Ernie Sims, it does make sense in their organizational scheme. And it’s probably bad news for Vikings fans, because it means they’re getting smarter over there.

Now, if they end up drafting Suh? Game over. Lions win.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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