So the Vikings announced late last night that they finally got the testicles rolling on signing their STELLAR draft class this year, as they decided they actually wanted former Penn State tight end Mickey Shuler to be a Minnesota Vikings for the next four years.
Did you read that right? Yes, I said four years, at a contract total of $1.85 Million. That’s millions of dollars he is making for having a dad that used to play in the NFL. I guess I should be surprised. Isn’t that how Brody Jenner got all of his money too?
Anyway, if you can’t tell, I don’t have the hardest of nipples for this kid. Best case scenario is that he turns into the next two decades Jim Kleinsausage once Jimmy retires probably after this year. I’m just confused because there are so many tight ends that aren’t very good now on this roster, and only two that have “Sausage” nicknames. I’m sure you can guess which ones.
Anyway, congrats on earning a practice squad paycheck, bromigo. Better than anything I’ve ever done. And as an aside, if I hear one more “Hey Mickey you’re so signed” joke, I’m going on a Maximum Carnage rampage. I DEMAND NEW MATERIAL (says the repetitive Vikings blogger)!!!!!