PJD’s Game Five Recap – Look What Saved!

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You see, the problem with trying to review a game that happened early Sunday afternoon, late on Monday night and using it as some of your main content the following Tuesday, is that no one wants to talk about it anymore. WELL I STILL DO, DAMMIT, SO LISTEN UP:

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First of all, there’s your EJ Henderson Mushroom Stamp of Approval picture. Let’s just get that out of the way. Now, instead of doing my typical game review which didn’t work this week, we’re going to try something different. I think it’s called writing, but I’m not really sure. Regardless, I thought it’d be different enough where it’d probably freak everyone out and give them real reason to come back and read this slop after the epic failure that was my late Sunday night. So here goes.

That was a pretty huge game. Let’s not kid ourselves. Sure, you can say that if the Vikings drop to 1-4 on the season that it’s not the end of the world. I mean, they HAVE only played one game in the division, a game which they won, and the other teams have already gotten to beat up on each other fairly well. The Vikings plausibly could have clawed their way back to contendership (is that a word? Probably not), but it would have been harder than getting your high school crush to not vomit every time she looked your way. It just wasn’t going to happen.

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Why is 2-3 that much of a big deal then? For several reasons. First, it gives the team confidence. Make no mistake; despite the fact that this is filled with enough all stars to make the Pro-Bowl blush, you watch them start 1-4 after an NFC Championship game season and 2010 Super Bowl expectations and you’ll find a whole slew of assholes pack it in. Think Ray Edwards wants to play all out in a year where he knows he’s hitting the free agent market? Ben Leber? Greenway, who’s looking for a contract extension? Randy, who doesn’t like playing unless you’re winning anyway? I have no doubt that this group of smut peddlers would have found a way to pack it in, call it a season, and give up. It’s what the Vikings do.

Secondly, this is a big deal because the NFC, and the NFL in general outside of the Steelers and the Jets, is absolutely terrible this year. I mean worse than finding out your grandmother once had the Moulin Rogue on LOCK DOWN. Truth be told, I was going to tell you how  many other teams in the NFC are 2-3 right now, but then I found out none of them were. There ARE six teams total that have three wins (which means either three or two loses elsewhere), which is most likely where the Vikings would be without their bye, so that puts us right there in the middle of the pack. Also, it helps that after five games now, the rest of the schedule doesn’t look so tough. Everyone in the NFC East is beatable (although Philly will be trouble), the Vikings still have to play the Cardinals (wanking motion), and then the AFC East. Buffalo is 0-5, and then there’s the Patriots. ….. OK, that doesn’t sound as easy, but you get my point. No one looks good at this point, especially the NFC North, which is pretty much like half of the team’s remaining games.

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The point being here, the Vikings keep doing this, both to me and to themselves. The second half of the Jets game got me thinking that finally, finally this team is going to stop looking like a a group of lost puppies in a mine field. I’m sure the team thought much this same way as well. “Yay! We totally rule now!” But then they come out and lay an egg in the first half against Dallas. But, yet again, the surge in the second half and look half competent.

I’m not sure what to think. On one hand, I know the NFC sucks, and this win keeps them in the race, comfortably. On the other, I know I’m still waiting for them to do something, to show something that says they’ve figured it out and they’re clicking again. I haven’t seen it though, and at some point I wonder when it is that I stop deep throating the hope they’re selling me and just accept that, with all this stupid talent, the team has deeper issues, namely the coach, and his inability to figure out how to protect, how to spread the field to open up the run, and how to change blocking schemes to take advantage of his best player. I can figure this out, for three years running now, and I’m an idiot with a computer. What is Childress’ problem?

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That’s why I see the Vikings win this game and I’m hesitant. The sky isn’t falling, but I’m not exactly enthused either. Hey, beating the Cowboys is more impressive than beating the Lions, even if both those teams have only one win. The Cowboys are a better team, for sure. But they’re not great, and right now, neither are the Vikings. They CAN get there, but this offense needs to stop fingering themselves and get to work, coaching staff and all.

Other Items of Note:

- I really can’t get over how big that EJ Henderson interception was in the fourth quarter. Every fiber of my being tells me that unless he stops that Cowboys drive there, they go down, eat up clock, get in the endzone, and leave around two minutes for our inept offense to try and score for a tie. And this offense right now does not have the capacity to blow up a balloon, let alone competently perform a two minute drill. That pick was huge. BOOM! Mushroom Stamp.

- Percy was, and has been, outrageous. I am in fact convinced he’s the only player on this team worth a damn right now … maybe outside of Randy Moss and Purple Jesus, but those two are more victims of their own greatness (much like myself). I feel like Percy is playing fed up now, where he’s got a little bit of that old Moss in him where he knows no one can stop him, so just give him the damn ball. It doesn’t matter if it’s passing, kick returning, or putting him in at running back, just stop. Fucking. Around. I like that attitude, and I hope the team feeds off of him, which is weird that such a veteran team would need a second year pro to pimp slap them and get them into shape.

- I heard both Antoine Winfield and EJ Henderson on the radio today getting interviewed. Both were well spoken and provided fair takes. It was pretty much the company line stuff, but the EJ interview really surprised me, mostly because I thought he always yelled or talked with death threats because he was always in beast mode. I think I could have a beer with that guy, and a fine chardonay with Winfield.

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- I got a great Packer fan take from a fan earlier today. I hope I get more so I can do some kind of feature this week on how much we all hate Packer fans. So if you got some vitriol, let me have it by e-mailing me. Any and all Packer fans are fair game. I may even share a good story or two.

- Speaking of Packers, it is officially border battle week. There are some people that seem to be really optimistic that the Vikings are going to role into Lambeau and hate sex the Packers into third place in the division. I think you guys are all high. I’ll have to look into it more, but this could be another epic game where it appears to be totally awesome, but it only looks that way because both teams are so full of ‘tards right now.

Thanks for coming back, sweet cheeks. We’ll have more action later today and then get back on track with the posts for this week. See you then.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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