PJD’s Masturbatory Game 11 Preview – What’s Your Excuse Now,

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We now find out if the coach was the problem:
And this is both on the fans and the team. We’ve spent all of 2010 upset at Brad Childress for making stupid playing calls, making horrendous personnel decisions, having a stupid mustache, using draft picks and trade assets FAR too cavalierly, and generally just being an idiot that doesn’t seem to quite grasp the concept of professional football. Well, he’s gone, and now no one has anything left to blame. If we don’t win in Washington this weekend, against a Redskins team that’s just as up and down as the Vikings are, then it’s all over. I mean, we can’t even PRETEND to have interest in the rest of the season. What are you going to watch for? “Oh, I want to see how Rice continues to come back from his injury! Or maybe we can all glow as Toby Gerhart blossoms before our eyes! And yes! Let’s watch the development of our high draft pick Chris Cook!” Yeah, none of that is happening. It’s probably terribly unfair to say about some young NFL guys in a 3-7 season, but there’s nothing to get excited for about these draft picks, no young QB to throw to the fire after we’re out of the playoff picture, no future hopes or players to look forward to watching develop. It is kind of just a lot of gray noise after this weekend and that makes for some really boring Sundays. I used to blame Childress for this just like all of us, but if we continue to lose and I even find drinking of disinterest on Sunday afternoon, well … then it’s on the heads of the players, and I hope we cut everyone and start over from scratch. IT’S THE ONLY WAY!

Special thanks to Dolly1951 for another game day preview graphic!


But we already known is one:
Of course though, now that Brad Childress is fired, if the team continues to play poorly there is ONE player we can’t blame. Naturally, that is Ban, who had this to say after Childress was canned:

“He was just confrontational,” n said.  “I think that was the biggest thing.  Instead of, you know, going to players like men and just talking and conversating about it, it was kind of brought to their attention in a confrontational way and just people just didn’t really conform to that way of, I guess, him talking and speaking to his team, or players individually.”

You know, I’ve f

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The Rams are in the playoff hunt?
I don’t remember if it was on ESPN or some other gay network showing gay football and talking about gay stuff (“he can really hit a hole!”) but they put up the graphic that these channels usually do that shows what the current playoff seeding is, one through four with division leaders, the current wild card candidates, and then some people still in hunt. They showed your usual fair, as you can see above, and what struck me was that the TV graphic didn’t stop with Washington. They went on to show Saint Louis as well, as still being in the hunt, and then I was like … well, shit, the stupid Vikings are their shitty season are only one game behind! And then I couldn’t figure out what was worse; the fact that after everything that’s happened in 2010 that the Vikings amazingly still haven’t been eliminated, or that some stupid TV program decided it was still appropriate to show the Rams as being playoff contenders. Come on, seriously. I know people need that Saint Louis TV demographic, but they’re not even that retarded. They may rob and cut you, but they probably won’t buy into this hype, guys.

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Thus ends the TarVar era:
The other unfortunate news with the firing of Brad Childress is that TarVar will undoubtedly be allowed to walk in free agency after this season. I say unfortunate because he has supplied so many happy times of ridiculousness over his … almost five years? … that I’ll minutely be sad to see him go. Sad like when your pimple goes down and you were just starting to appreciate the size of it. I mean, we never REALLY got to see what he could do with so much talent around him. He never really had a coach that would take the reigns off of him either and let him do his own thang. Childress always babied him, and that was kind of frustrating. We may never get to see that beautiful jump pass again! Or that half assed lob attempt when he’s getting sacked! It’s really disheartening. It’s kind of like when that really shitty co-worker gets fired. You’re happy, but also sad faced, because now who do you get to make fun of and rally the troops around in shared hate? You have to find a new scapegoat. I have no issues thinking that we won’t, as Vikings fans. Finally, I just wanted to reflect on what were some of the high(low)lights of TarVar’s career as a Viking. Add your own in the comments, if you can think of anything, I mean:

- His first start in Green Bay when he was responsible for 80 yards for the entire game, or something. Hilarious.

- His four touchdown game against the Cardinals where he looked like a regular Tom Brady.

- Him getting laid the fuck out when he tried to tackle Asante Samuel after throwing a pick against the Eagles in his only playoff game.

- His failed attempt to lead the Vikings back in the last game of the season against the Denver Broncos.

So many good memories. Goodnight, sweet prince.

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Meme of the week:
The meme of the week is a failing little section we do in the weekly preview where we look at the best and brightest of internet toilet bowl humor and try to relate it to football and the Vikings in tired and lame ways. Since this started, you have met Bachelor Frog, Rich Raven, Politically Neutral Dog, Philosoraptor, Sexually Oblivious Rhino, Courage Wolf, Photobombing Daniel Craig, Conspiracy Psyduck, the Hitler video, Disaster Girl, and last week’s Successful Black Guy. This week we bring you a meme that is known by a couple of alternative names, although most commonly referred to as “Deal with it” dog. Other names include smug dog or sunglasses gif (I just made that up). It’s a simple meme though, both in meaning and use. It’s popular on internet forums where people are having a debate and someone chimes in, disapproving of either a statement or point of view. The next image should hilariously be Deal With It, shutting the person up and leaving the retorting poster feeling all smug inside. In fact, I imagine this is exactly how Zygi Wilf felt when he called Brad Childress into his office last Monday morning and said “Brad, you’re fired” and Brad said “But it’s not all my fault! sucks too!” and then Zygi just put on some sunglasses and smiled.

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Scotch of the week:
This week’s scotch hails from the Northern Highlands and really isn’t one that I would go head over heels for, like I would your mom. :dealwithit: Instead, this is one for people that like a softer scotch, lighter on the booze, that has some sweet notes to it. It’s the Dalmore Gran Reserva, aged in sherry and bourbon casks. It’s going to be lighter for you pussies out there, and does have a hint of chocolate and sweetness on the nose, so maybe your fat heifer of a girlfriend will be tricked into liking it. There is also a note of tobacco in it too, upon first smell, so if your mom asks you if you’ve been smoking you can say “No! I was just drinking scotch!” I’m not sure if that’s any better I guess …

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A lot of Redskin:  Wait, that sounds racist. Disregard that. You ever notice how the NFC East teams all have some stellar cheerleading squads? I think they clearly beat out any team on the west coast and their cheerleaders, even though California Girls, yadda yadda yadda. I’m not sure why this is. I would venture that it probably holds true for AFC East teams as well (Jets, yes, Dolphins, yes, don’t know about Patriots and Bills). I read a stat or saw a sexy graphicy looking map a while ago, that did show that there are higher percentages of single women living on the east coast and high percentages of single men living on the west coast. It may be a simple game of numbers, with many more attractive butts faces to choose from out east. Also, if you are single and thinking how super dope it’d be to go to Cali or Seattle for school, man, and just like, get a prescription for weed and shit … well, do so, but start sucking dick, because California has a $20 billion dollar deficit, will charge the poop out of your intestine in tuition, and now you know is really just full of a bunch of single dudes. So enjoy that!

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Wishful thinking and game predictions:
I’m not quite sure what to make of this game. On one hand, I’d like to believe all the hype. I’d like to think that with Childress gone, with a coach in Leslie Frazier who can relate to his players better, with Favre and Bevell playing school yard offense on the field, with an inspired defense, that this Vikings team could go on the road and beat up on an opposing team that really isn’t that much better. But then you have to stop yourself, get down off of your turkey high, and remember who it is you’re trying to predict for. This is the 2010 Minnesota Vikings, not the 2009 Vikings or even the 2010.02 Vikings. This is still the same squad that can’t move the ball with consistency, that has a haggard offensive line that got beat up even more when we lost Anthony Hererra to injury, that has a 41 year old QB playing the worst season of his career, and a defense that is down right sloppy. Those are a lot of problems for one man to try and fix, and while I think Leslie Frazier sounds like a really nice human being (and he’s fucking tall too, isn’t he? Random observation) I don’t think it’s fair OR appropriate to expect him to turn this around. I think he can get this team ready to beat the Bills whenever that is, but not these Redskins. Plus, we’re playing against McNabb, and as much of a LOLlercoaster QB as he is, he’s always had the Vikings number. He just butchers us like I butchered that turkey carving yesterday. Why should it stop now with a porous Vikings defensive backfield? It won’t. We’ll lose, and we’ll all give a collective shrug. So it goes. Redskins win a sloppy game, 20-16.

Besides this shit fest, I hope the rest of your holiday weekend has gone well. Even though the Vikings are harder to watch than an episode of My Name is Earl, try to find some enjoyment in the other NFL games. As always, if you find something hilarious to say about the Vikings or really anything in general, mention us on Twitter, friend us on Facebook, or even shoot me an e-mail with pictures and video! I enjoy that mightily. Either way, we’ll be back Monday to review the game. Enjoy.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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