Roster Moves: Vikings Sign Ryan Moats, No One Knows Why

In a bit of a surprise move yesterday, the Minnesota Vikings signed recently released Houston Texan running back Ryan Moats to a free agent contract. Moats said he knew the Vikings was the right place for him, since they called right away. Oh, and he is a former Eagle, go figure. Also, picking up a Texan retread? That worked out so well for us last time! The real question here though is why was this done? Is it a personnel threat or is it really because they like Moats’ talents? Well, with the very little (See: none) information PJD knows about Moats, I can guarantee to you that this move is due to the former scenario. But who does it really effect, and how? WE’LL TELL YOU!! Because obviously you trust our expert analysis.

Adrian Peterson: If the Moats signing was supposed to be a “veteran” move to put some fear into Peterson about skipping camp and fumbling infants all over the field, than whoever signed him is certifiably retarded. Is Peterson afraid of Moats stealing his job? No. Peterson IS afraid of never winning a Super Bowl though because his team management is run by petty hookers from Sex in the City.

Toby Gerhart: White Lightning was expecting to play the season out as the third down back for the Vikings, and probably as the top backup to Peterson. Does the Moats signing change this? I say no. If anything, Nilla Wafer here will see the field for the novelty of being a white running back. Moats can’t compete with that. Gerhart is safe.

Albert Young: Minnesotans hate Iowans, and as a former Hawkeye, Young doesn’t stand a fucking chance now. Get your ass outta town, you filthy animal. I can’t believe Favre once stood up for you. GTFOH, unless you have a great training camp, then you can stay.

Ian Johnson: Remember the Fiesta Bowl against Oklahoma? Again, still the highlight of your otherwise short career. While you may one day be better than Moats, and may today actually be more talented (who really knows), the veteran status and familiarity with Childress through being a former Eagle gives Moats an advantage that Johnson can’t compete with. At least your wife is fairly attractive.

Darius Reynaud: The receiver turned scat back turned return man turned forgotten roster spot has got to be feeling like the youngest sibling during the frontier days. No one paying attention to you? Forgot you were listed as a running back? More depth can’t help Reynaud’s chances of making the team, but shit, I’d say his chances are better than Johnson’s, because Reynaud is shifty, which people love to romanticize. Realistically? Yeah, he’s gone too.

Thoughts? Does Ryan Moats do anything for you? Anything like make certain body parts stiffen. Put your thoughts in the comments.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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