I have made my general love and appreciation for the hapless Motor City Kitties around here, preeetttty obvious, but I have to tell you that the joke is definitely on them in this case.
It was reported by the NFL Red Zone (which apparently isn’t just a nine hour TV channel?) yesterday that a certain former first round pick of the Minnesota Vikings was working out for the Honolulu Blue this week. !!!! Who could it be?? Erasmus James?! Michael Bennet (I think he plays with the Chargers)?? Daunte Culpepper again? DIMITRIUS UNDERWOOD??!?!
No, you’re all wrong. It was Troy Williamson, our favorite reject from the FIRST Randy Moss trade. Remember when he bawled on TV when he was selected? I would have cried too, knowing that was going to be the first and last time someone wanted me. Personally, I thought he was still playing for the Jaguars, but then I looked at the Jaguars schedule and noticed that they were winning, so I knew that he couldn’t still be playing there. It makes PJD wonder then, what’s the benefit of Williamson working out with the Lions? He’s not going to share any of our plays, because clearly he only knew one route to run (straight). On top of that, we’ve on our third coach since he was drafted! I would guess the playbook has shifted thricefold since he last wore purple.
This is why the jokes on you, Detroit. Williamson will break your hearts and steal your money, then cry when you try to take some of that money back after he uses the old “My grandmother died” excuse. Sure, buddy. We’ve all used that at one point too, but you only get so many grandmothers, OK?