Tim Pawlenty is Making Friends

The state legislature broke some pretty impressive ground on Monday when they made an announcement on a Vikings stadium bill that could potentially be voted on. In the bill, they made mention of raising certain taxes on what is being labeled as “user fee” items. I actually just made up that label. It’s probably named something much more politicallyier. Anyway, the idea is that if you buy a jersey, pay for a hotel room, or bet your money away like a retard then, hey, we’re going to tax you like .02% to try and help pay for a stadium that you people all watch anyway. Feels good, man, right?

Well, not so right. Why? Because Tim Pawlenty is dog eating asshole.

As soon as the announcement of the bill was laid out, everyone’s favorite reach-around artist/governor decided to shut it down right away saying that “we’re not going to raise taxes!” Really, TPaw? You’re not going to raise taxes but you’ll cut health and emergency aid programs to people that are dying? Oh, ok cool. How about this:

BUILD ME MY FUCKING STADIUM, YOU TWAT. LOOK AT HOW MANY PEOPLE WANT IT, YOU DRIED UP CUNT. I DON’T CARE IF PEOPLE BUYING A TWINS JERSEY FOR $127 HAVE TO PAY AN EXTRA .30 CENTS TO PAY FOR A STADIUM THAT THEY WILL END UP WATCHING ON TV ANYWAY. FUCK THE WILD FANS TOO. THEY’RE SHITTY TEAM IS AS BAD AS THE TIMBERWOLVES. PEOPLE WATCH MORE THAN ONE SPORT IN THIS STATE, YOU FUCKING MORON. LET THEM ALL PAY FOR A GOD DAMN STADIUM. AND FUCK THOSE “BUSINESS TRAVELERS” THAT MAY BE “TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF” BY THE HOTEL TAX. WHAT THE FUCK. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. THEY’RE FUCKING BUSINESS TRAVELERS STAYING IN SUITES. THEY CAN PAY AN EXTRA TWO DOLLARS ON A $150 A NIGHT SUITE THAT THEY DON’T EVEN PAY FOR ANYWAY, THEIR FUCKING COMPANY DOES. JESUS CHRIST YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE. SOMEONE VOTE VENTURA BACK INTO OFFICE. DIE ON A FUCKING CROSSBOW ALREADY. I THINK I HEARD ONCE THOUGH THAT YOUR DAUGHTER IS KIND OF HOT. AWESOME. THAT IS GOOD NEWS FOR ME, DUDE, IF THIS STADIUM ISN’T BUILT. BUT SERIOUSLY, FUCK.

Unless you approve these minor taxes to build the Vikings a new stadium. Then we’re totes cool, bro. Let’s go golfing some time.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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