Tweets O’ the Game – Primetime Edition

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Tweets O’ the Game has kind of taken on a life of it’s own. Usually, I only do about five random Tweets from people freaking out about how terrible the offense looks, or making a nice comedic movie reference, or tying football to a dick joke somehow. As you can imagine, with Brett Favre and the Minnesota Vikings heading into New York to play the Jets in primetime television last Monday night, there were TONS of ass hole couch coaches talking shit on Twitter. Here, I have selected the greatest assholery for you to comment on on, laugh at, and perhaps masturbate too (I think there’s pictures). As always, remember to follow PJD on Twitter and leave us comments, or start using the tag #PJDick (just searched, no one’s using it!) and we’ll all get in on the action.

For today’s robust collection, we start with BenjaminJDawson, aka, WSR or White Speed Receiver saying:

We’ve got a White-ish Speed-ish Receiver returning punts? Well done,Vikings.

Oh huh ho! Greg Camarillo and you must take vacations during the middle of the school term together, huh? And listen to Phish as well while drinking some home brewed beer? Fucking white people.

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Next we have SBNation providing us with the video from Moss to Favre to start the game. The thing I liked about this play is that it was totally the opposite of what everyone expected to happen to start the game. We were all thinking, “Oh, yay, a deep ball to Randy from Favre! This’ll be sweet!” Instead we got the short pass to Favre FROM Randy, because Brett didn’t have the legs to run further then 11 yards down the field. What a douche.

Also, we have LilJohn declaring his allegiance:

LET’S GO #VIKINGS

How have I not known about this? Lil’ John is a Vikings fan? Is he actually just a Moss fan? Maybe he just has an appreciation for athlete penis? He could easily be a Jets fan then with his history. Blows my mind. Can you imagine if Lil’ John walked the streets in Saint Paul? He’d see so man white people, and then just leave right away. “Fuck this shit”. That’s what I’d say. Yeah. Now, AGAIN from BenjaminJDawson:

Jimmy Kennedy just got in on a sack? Holy Christ, I thought he and Lavar Arrington died in a plane crash.

Tttttsssssssssssssss that’s probably inappropriate. I actually think her name was Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy. Somehow French, probably. Lavar sounds … English? Black? Gay? I don’t know. Now from the usually mundane VikingsNow:

Vikings getting zero pressure on Sanchez. Guy’s brewing lattes between throws.

Zinger! Except that’s impossible, because I’m pretty sure Starbucks doesn’t hire Mexicans. Maybe Caribou’s does, but just to clean their bathrooms, OR, or, harass any female news reporters that come through the store. Right Mark? We also have a fine collection of double entendre penis jokes for you too, mostly while Favre was doing poorly to start in the first half and at the end. Let’s get a handle on those now *snicker*. First from Karleecupcake:

Weird………usually Favre has a very good grip. #HAHAHA

COCK! From some guy called TedGruber:

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Sweet mother of the internet…”Brett Favre” is trending between two Cox (Courtney & Bobby).

BALLS! Also, colored girls? What’s that all about? From JasonJWilde:

Oh, you said CLOCK management. I misread that initially. RT @KCousineau09: Terrible clock management.

OK, that one was kind of funny. Other comments include this from lobwedgeguy:

Greg Lewis is the guy at the bar with the Affliction tshirt constantly looking for a fight.

It’s true, in a Guido sense, I suppose, because I think otherwise Greg Lewis is probably the nicest guy you could find outside of Madieu Williams. But maybe that’s the problem; he’s super nice which simply doesn’t translate to the football field. Also, you know … the whole Affliction shirt thing. That’d be pretty embarassing. MissClare provided us with a simple truth from Monday night:

Brett Favre is going to show soooooooo many girls his dick tonight. #likeakidoutthere

Which I think was also around the same time that previously mentioned KarleeCupcake said this:

I think I just maybe had a full body orgasm. #FavreToMoss #HolySweetLincolnsEpicBeard

It’s funny, because she’s actually a dude. No, wait, I mean it’s hilarious because I kind of had one too, except it wasn’t full body, it was just right at the tip of my cock and was kind of like a cartoon muffler puffing out the last breath of gas. *Puhhhhhhhhhhhh* You have to make that sound with an open mouth to really get the proper effect. After that touchdown even MarlonWayans got in on the action:

Now favre playing like a dude with a big dick pic hoping the shit circulates. like what?

Admittedly, I had to read that like 15 times before I could decipher what the fuck he meant, but I think it was along the lines of “Boy, Brett Favre sure is feeling confident now, isn’t he followers?”

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Finally, Twitter was also a gem for links to some content that will probably get re-used here, but at the very least we can all laugh at now. SBNation again provides us with great stuff, specifically Brett Favre’s night summed up in Twitpics. I included my favorite above this, obviously. Also, OntheDLpodcast provided the analysis of each personality in the MNF booth when Favre threw the interception. Would you believe Gruden almost choked on Favre’s cock because of his near comeback??! Well he did. They also have a link on there to Paul Allen calling the interception. Listen to it by clicking here. At first I didn’t think the call was all that funny, but then PA got to “The old two and the six” and it sealed it for me. Nice work.

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Finally, we turn to Docvarmit who found the gem of a cover you see above you. OH THE FORBODING. Classic stuff.

All in all, I’d say it was a pretty successful shit show for the Vikings, one I am sure is to happen many times again this season. So again, don’t forget to follow us and Tweet us your stupid shit, and comment us on Facebook as well where we post TOTALLY different and ORIGINAL stuff there too. IT’S JUST SO MUCH VIKINGS STUFF!!

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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