Welcome to Purple Jesus Diaries’ new feature entitled “What Do you Meme?” where we take a look at a Vikings related news item and meme the shit out of it until all jokes have been exhausted and we’re all sick of talking about it, like your mother’s case of hemorrhoids. Make sure to leave yours in the comments! This time, we’re focusing on Brett Favre’s discipline which was handed to him by the NFL in regards to his sexting allegations. Favre received a fine of $50,000 dollars (about 2:30 minutes of NFL playing time for him, honestly) for being uncooperative in the NFL’s investigation, and that was it. But could there be OTHER disciplinary actions in the fine print? Whatever do you meme?!
- For not texting cock shots to Peter King, the NFL and NBC have punished Favre with weekly calls from Mr. King on both Tuesday afternoons AND Saturday nights. Favre MUST answer all of these calls or face prison time in Mr. King’s basement.
- Deanna Favre has asked that any disciplinary action include a vasectomy and another concussion great enough for him to forget his marriage.
- Brad Childress has asked for language in Favre’s official disciplinary document that purges all responsibility for the Vikings 2010 season from Childress’ coaching record.
- Roger Goodell has declared Favre will receive an indefinite suspension for the remainder of his career, unless he decides he would like to continue to play in 2011 sometime around August, like maybe after training camp of something.
- Birttany Favre has worked legal language into the disciplinary documents stating she is legal bound to receive a head injury to put her in a coma after she has seen her fathers erect penis as a 21 year old mother.
- The NFL released a statement saying they will fine Brett Favre $50 unless he abides by the rules of his house arrest for the rest of his life in Hattiesburg, Mississippi.
- Wranglers will be punishing Brett Fvare by only providing him stone washed jeans instead of acid wash.
- Favre will be punished by the NFL by having one randomly drawn, lifetime achievement of Favre’s stricken from his record. That record will be ……. Oh, look! The interception record! Oh well!
Did you hear about a Brett Favre punishment? Make sure to add it in the comments and try to be funnier than these, which shouldn’t be too hard.