What the Crap is Going on Here and Why Wasn’t I Invited?

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This is one of the more recent inside pictures of the MetroDUMP (hahaha) that has been released since Wednesday, when it was also announced that a fourth panel on the Teflon roof gave way like your mom’s belt at an all you can eat buffet. The result was more snow and ice dumping itself all over the Metrodome field like a welcomed poop on New Year’s Day after a night of drinking, making just a mess of the field and causing all sorts of repairmen and women to stand around, shuffle their feet, and shake their heads saying “Well, ain’t that there something!”

Oh yeah, it is something indeed sirs and madams, because the inside of that place doesn’t look like an unmitigated mess OR the whore hole that VIKTOR the VIKING described earlier this week. In fact, it looks like things are AWESOME in the Metrodome right now, and I am PISSED I wasn’t invited!

Take a look at the picture at the top of the page. That’s what the Dome looks like RIGHT NOW. I drive by that thing every morning, and I’m going to be honest, it looks deader than your sex life. It’s a fucking mausoleum for the Vikings season. But what a tease. If they actually would bother letting people through the doors, we’d find out that they are apparently having snow mobile races inside around a make shift winter track that loops around the sidelines to the five yard line, back towards midfield and then finish inside the tunnel (sex joke).

It also looks like they have a huge Monster Truck type of contraption at midfield that I am SURE people are doing back flips off of into huge snow piles, doing freestyle foot grabs, or using stadium seat backs as small snowboards to shred on tiny snow hills. Oh, and don’t even talk to me about the truck in the middle of the field either, that people are clearly using to just whip shitties around in on the snow. Uh, tons of ice on a concrete floor with a banged up old shit box looking to burn some fucking rubber? Yeah, no, I don’t want to partake in any of that.

Fuckers.

Below is another picture of the inside of the Dome right now, and again, I just can’t stress how awesome it would be to fill that cum bucket up with the rest of the snow on the roof and then charge like $5 per child that wants to come in there, behave irresponsibly, and break their legs. I’d do it. And I’m pissed that I can’t. Want to generate some income for a new stadium, Zygi? You know what to do.

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PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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