WHO YA GOT? – Backup Quarterback Edition

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A lot of talk has surfaced this week about which backup quarterback for the Vikings, TarVar Jump-pass or Sage Rosen-copter, sucks less. The scenario of course is, with four current quarterbacks on the roster including Brett Favre and Not David Webb, who will be making the final 53 man roster cut? The Vikings have to look at this in a simple scenario. The team is built to win now. They in fact are so concerned with winning now that they begged a grandfather to come back and zip the football around for their team. Norman Van Brocklin would be proud, except for all that forward passing. But the question remains. What if this old fogey balls dies of natural causes on the field this year? Who would you want to back him up, step out on the field, and potentially take the reigns to lead this team to a Super Bowl? Clearly, Joe Not David Webb is not the answer, as he still needs to learn how to read NFL defenses. It’s almost as clear that he can’t be cut or moved to the practice squad as well, since his natural athletic talent is more than enough to catch the eye of another NFL team out there looking for athletic do-gooders. With most teams only keeping three quarterbacks then, it leaves the Vikings with quite the scenario of who to keep; Sage or TarVar?

To help them today, we’ve set up a hand WHO YA GOT? face off sheet comparing the two players across a variety of different variables. Hopefully, by the end of this online competition, it will become clear who the Vikings should keep as the top backup to Silver Fox. The competition BEGINS! after the jump …

Below is a table which holds both players, TarVar and Sage, and compares them side by side looking at a variety of different variables that will indicate which player is better in certain categories which I arbitrarily picked. While the winner may not be apparent, I leave it up to YOU! THE READER! to decide, based off of these COLD HARD FACTS, which quarterback should be the main backup to Favre in 2010. Let the fake competition begin!

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TarVar Jackson Measurable Variable Sage Rosenfels
Jump first, run second, throw fifth Passing style Be slow, loft a rainbow down the sidelines
Being drafted, never winning a significant football game Claim to fame Fumbling like a helicopter as a Texan
Marbles in mouth, in hushed tones with a lack of confidence Communication style Slightly effeminate, sings alto
Final year of rookie deal, still making too much Contract limitations Like, 2 more years at $3 Million a pop. It’s outrageous
Started a playoff game, in which he single handily lost. Experience factor Has started 12 games in his career, losing half of them. 8-8, here we come!
Justin Bieber f/ Ludacris – Baby Favorite Song, probably California Gurls – Katy Perry (He just masturbates to it, though).
6. 8 if he didn’t always look like a scared puppy during a blitz. Masculine ranking, 1-10 4. 6 if he would just never speak.
“Hey Arnold!” Favorite cartoon as a child Voltron, but only because of the pink Voltron part.
7? It hasn’t been very lucky. Which jersey number do you prefer 2? Two more years until you’re out of here, asshole.
Deep fried deep fried chicken fried chicken on a deep fried stick, dipped in chocolate. Favorite State Fair fare The pig show.
Young Jeezy, Ludacris, Eminem, B.O.B., Celine Deion. Current artists on iPod The Cranberries, ABBA, Counting Crows, Alanis Morrisette, Sugary Ray.

 

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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