Whoa, Why’re we Talking About Chad Pennington?

Believe you me, I didn’t come up with this crazy idea myself, because I don’t exactly have an affinity for weak armed quarterbacks that underwent surgery to install a new robotic arm that was actually first developed in the 1920′s in Fritz Lang’s Metroloplis. But that’s exactly what Pennington is now, after bouncing from starter in New York, to starter in Miami, now to back up in Miami behind Chad Henne. But one person thinks that Pennington could be the answer to the Vikings problems if Brett Favre decides to retire.

I of course, cordially disagree.

First of all, Chad Pennington is a douche bag. I don’t really know why. It may have something to do with his name being Chad, but it also has something to do with his dopey face. So, keep in mind, this irrational reason is first and foremost why he should never be a Vikings.

The second reason is because this guy who came up with this crazy idea thinks the Dolphins should ask for a second round pick or AT LEAST a third rounder in the next daft for the Vikings to take Pennington. Listen, this isn’t a reverse Culpepper here. I’d offer a conditional sixth rounder, at best, and you’d take it while swooning.

Despite this never likely happening, it does raise the solid point that, with a team like the Vikings who are built to win right now, finding some established veteran who has either been tossed aside for a hotter, younger, piece of ass, or a veteran with one more go on the tires (Moon, Cunningham, Favre, ad nausem) does seem like the most plausible idea. I’m hoping against hope that the Redskins somehow don’t sign McNabb long term, and the Vikings swoop him up in our purple chariot, but really don’t see this coming to fruition.

Rather, what I would prefer, is that Brad Childress would finally just draft a fucking quarterback in the high rounds of the draft who could be our starter for the next 15 years. Is this so hard? Jake Locker? Ryan Mallett? Zac Lee? Just kidding with that last one. But honestly, it’s time Brad. Shhhh, shhh … It’s time. Close your eyes, and just do the right thing. For once.

But Chad Pennington? I would rather stab a burning red fork into my butthole. No thanks.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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