And Then the Vikings Draft the Holiest of Backfields

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“With the twelfth pick of the 2011 NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings selected …. Christian Ponder, quarterback, Florida State.”

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Some notes:

1. Hey, did you know Christian Ponder is now your quarterback of the future? Yup. At pick #12, you don’t fuck around. He has now become our Matthew Stafford, Aaron Rodgers, or Jay Cutler … wait … no, not that last one, but you get the idea. Think he’s up for it?

2. Did anyone tell the Vikings they’re not actually drafting Joe Mauer out of Florida State? He’s still with the Twins, although you’d never be able to tell since they suck balls too.

3. Here’s a quick fact: The other two quarterbacks taken in the top 20 picks from the ACC? Matt Ryan and Phillip Rivers.

4. There is absolutely no way that Ponder is the guy they wanted at 12 all along. No way. He was projected as a solid second round pick with some basic talents that could help a team out like Kyle Orton or Chad Henne. He was taken higher than Aaron Rodgers. GTFO. I think once Locker was off the board for the Vikings they panicked because by the time 12 popped up three QBs had already been nabbed and they felt they had to get their guy. The trick was on them, however, as there weren’t any other QBs taken in the first round, not even by Washington, who needs one more than we do.

5. It warms my heart to see Ryan Mallett drop to the second round. “Don’t draft me, bro!”

6. Picks that would have been better at #12 include, but are not limited to: Prince Amukamara, Da’Quan Bowers (his knee is fucking fine, get over it), Nick Fairley.

7. The Vikings drafted for need WAY over best player available. That’s a retarded move for a needy franchise. Do they honestly think there wouldn’t be a stop gap quarterback available in free agency or through trade this summer sometime? McNabb, Palmer, Orton, Young, Silky Garrard, Jimmy Clausen, I mean come on.

8. Purple Jesus is going to get crucified all over again trying to run against the Detroit Lions front line. That team is fucking wild.

9. Christian Ponder has an injury history worse than Wolverine from X-Men, and he unfortunately doesn’t have the healing factor like him (BOOM, *NERD!*). Playing behind our offensive line sure as shit isn’t going to make matters better for him, especially with Suh and Fairley eye fucking him across the snap count.

10. Ponder wore number 7 in college … so … Tarvaris is gone?

11. Frazier and Spielman spoke after the pick was made and make it sound like they got the guy they really wanted. Naturally, there was a lot of requests from fans that they should have traded back but it apparently sounds like there weren’t any trade partners on draft night at that position. Really? I find that weird that no one else wanted to nab Ponder at 12!

12. Here’s a really good write up about Ponder from the Sun Sentinel looking at his history, offensive success and much more. If you need a morning snap-shot of who the hell this guy is, I’d look here.

13. Other Christians I would have taken on the team: Christian Okoye, Christian Bale, Christian Slater, and Christian Guzman. But that’s just me.

So how upset or happy is everyone today? Let’s discuss this latest downfall of the Vikings in the comments and prep ourselves for more wasted picks in the second round! Just when you got all excited about football being back, they have to go and do something like this.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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