Ben Leber Predictions are WRONG!

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Ben Leber, who at this time is an unrestricted free agent linebacker who last played for the Minnesota Vikings (which of course explains then why we are talking about him right now), has in the past acted as an assistant player representative for the Vikings, was part of a conference call with the player’s association last week when they received an update on how negotiations have been going with the NFL Owners. And that, sirs, is the extent of my understanding of the lock-out this offseason because holy shit is it boring.

Anyway, he made a little prediction to when he thinks this lock-out will be lifted and some football will get back to playing:

“My gut tells me, and this is my own opinion, that it will be an abbreviated training camp,” he said. “We might get in three preseason games. I’m going to guess we’ll get in two preseason games. Get our normal couple of days off before the season starts and I think the season begins the way it should be [on Sept. 8] and is normal.”

Interesting prediction Ben, but you went to Kansas State. You know what that means? YOU ARE WRONG!

Two can play this game, particularly on the internet where the attention span of a blog’s readership is roughly two-and-a-half days (I’m estimating). Here is how PJD sees this lock-out finally ending and the 2011 season playing out IN GENERAL:

- As training camp and other key NFL dates get closer without any semblance of an agreement nearing on a new CBA, the players decided to take the NFL negotiations into their own hands by forming a rogue counter-terrorist ops unit and kidnapping Roger Goodell, sweeping him off to a desolate location in the open lands of Montana. It is here they begin their OWN negotiations as a third party in the NFL called MAKE BANK.

- As September nears and negotiations with MAKE BANK continue to fail, the players become desperate and decide to send a message to the owners by killing Goodell. He is filmed being blown on up TNT planted in his rectum on live television but the response is not as MAKE BANK hopes, as most owners shrug, shake hands, and continue on with their negotiations with the NFL Players Association.

- The weeks go on and October nears, still without football. Players and members are starting to feel the pinch of not receiving a paycheck during the lock-out. Several rookies and other players who have been in the league less than four years begin in fighting with each other. Christian Ponder is killed first by Jamarcus Russell for food, with Ray Lewis killing Aaron Rodgers for sport. Matt Flynn is now the starting quarterback for the Green Bay Packers.

- Into November, full anarchy reigns. The NFL and the NFL Players Association actually had reached an agreement weeks ago but have been resting on their laurels, smoking cigars and drinking fine scotches as the rogue group MAKE BANK continues their in fighting. While the owners realize that with the “termination” of many of their star players through in-fighting could hurt the NFL, they and the Players Association take a long-term stance on the issue, realizing that the NFL has been too diluted in recent years. This natural selection among the players will ultimately result in only the best players remaining available to play football, elevating the overall talent of the game. Individuals like Toby Gerhart, Karl Paymah, Denard Walker, Jordy Nelson, Freddie Mitchell and Chad Henne are never heard from again.

- To accomodate less players, the NFL decides in December to eight teams from the league, one from each division. Those include: the Dolphins, the Browns, the Texans, the Raiders, the Seahawks, the Redskins, the Panthers and the Vikings. No one misses them.

- In January, college football ends their season and everyone is happy there. Uh, college football rules. Case closed.

- The players are finally informed that a deal has been reached. The NFL claims they “just plum forgot to tell” the rogue group MAKE BANK, but that they’d welcome back anyone who is still alive. Few return, and no one is punished for Goodell’s death. Publicly, the NFL denies every discovering who committed the atrocity, but internally and off the record, everyone gave a huge pat on the back to EJ Henderson for going into his blood rage and ruining Goodell.

- In April 2012, the draft continues like normal but with new contract limitations set in place. Signins bonuses for all first round picks are restricted to a $1,000 living stipend and a bag of Crazy Core Skittles. No one seems too upset by this.

- In early May 2012, free agency starts for the first time in over a year. Somehow Asher Allen is still alive, and surprisingly he enters the summer unemployed.

Call me crazy, but that’s how I see everything playing out. Have you heard something different? Put your inside scoop in the comments, and for the love of god, end this lock-out already.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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