Brian Robison: New Favorite White Guy

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There are a couple of things I do not particularly like about Brian Robison. First, his cornrows that he wore during training camp last year were … just … more bone chilling that Megan Fox’s thumbs. Not cool, Robison. Likewise, he’s an alumnus of the Texas Longhorns, who might just be the most pompous, self entitled, ignorant, racists, stupidest school and collection of fans seen outside of the Big Ten (Ohio State? Michigan? F*CKING INDIANA!!).

But Robison sure knows how to call it like he sees it, and I can certainly appreciate that. For example, from a recent interview with ESPN 1500 (somehow, that station is worse than KFAN):

“I know Ray and I’ve seen some of the comments he made and we’ve talked about it.  He means no harm about it — he’s doing what he has to do to get his payday, and he definitely deserves a payday,” Robison said on the Reusse & Mackey Show Tuesday via Tom Pelissero of espn1500.com.

That payday should come in another town.

“He deserves that payday, and at the same time, I feel like I deserve the right to start,” Robison said. “I feel like I’ve fought every year for that right to start and haven’t really got the shot that I deserve yet, and hopefully, now I’ll get that shot and he’ll go get his payday and we’ll all be happy.”

BOOM, HEADSHOT!

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I have to agree with Robison here on a number of levels.

1. Ray Ray is a bitch.

2. Robison, while maybe not the ideal right defensive end in the NFL (he’s a bit light and doesn’t hold up against the run as well as a sophisticated fan would like), is still a heck of a player and pretty young to boot, having spent … I don’t know, three seasons or something … under Big Leslie learning the Vikings Cover Two system.

3. Whenever he’s seen the field, Robison has made an impact. Sooooo … maybe he should see the field more? Bye Ray.

4. Ray Edwards had, like, two eyebrow raising playoff games and then disappeared for FIVE FULL YEARS. Hey, that’s the type of guy that deserves a $25 Million contract! Get bent, Bro-dolph Hitler.

5. Edwards has made it clear, a trillion times over, that he won’t come back to the Vikings for less money. What a jackass who thinks he’s more than he’s worth. I hope he hits free agency and finds he isn’t worth a quarter of what he thought, particularly with a new CBA in place that will limit high spending, and then he ends up with the f*cking Panthers or some shit. Eat a dick.

6. Enjoy your fighting career, Brock.

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I for one will be happy to see Ray Edwards out of a Vikings uniform. He seems to think he’s some hot shit, but honestly hasn’t lived up to a cunt hair of his talk. He’s never registered double digit sacks in a season, even after playing basically his entire caeer with JA and the Williams Wall, and has never topped more than 45 tackles in a season. His solo season with 43 (2009) is actually being pretty damn generous too.

So thanks for being a finger blaster, Ray. Enjoy your new team, and we’ll enjoy Brian Robison, the guy who took advice from Capital J to take his wife up to Tofte, MN (I can’t find a link, but it happened, ask him!), and who promotes and advocates sexual activity to secure a healthy prostate for men. THAT is the type of guy I can get behind!

…. er, wait a second ….

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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