Cross This One Off the List

http://purplejesus.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/vikings-yellow.jpg
Have you ever wanted to see what the Vikings would look like wearing yellow uniforms? Well, here you go, it’s a terrible photoshop job that let’s you envision this whore abomination in all it’s failed glory. Now burn your face off.

http://www.embroiderynfljerseys.com/images/categories/Reebok%20NFL%20Jerseys%20Minnesota%20Vikings%2012%20Harvin%20Black.jpg
I’ve never understood why the NFL or apparel spinsters end up making fake jerseys out of different colors. Like the famous black Vikings jerseys that float around for years now. Black? When the fuck have the Vikings ever worn black? They’ve worn black shoes, like twice maybe, but it’s never been a color in the rest of the uniform motif ever. Stupid.

http://www.vikingsfanshop.com/images/products/3862_large.jpg
And seriously, a green hat?? From the Vikings.com merchandise shop no less? GTFO. Seriously, go fucking kill yourself. Here’s how that conversation went in the board room when they came up with this idea: “Hey John, what about a Vikings hat that’s green for Saint Patrick’s Day?! It’ll sell like hot cakes!” “But Fuck Face, don’t you think Vikings fans would see this and say, ‘HEY WAIT A MINUTE, THOSE ARE PACKERS COLORS!’ I don’t think they’ll buy it!” “Hey, John, shut your vagina trap. Vikings fans are retarded. They’ll buy a merkin off a hooker.” End scene. And some idiot out there actually has one right now, can you believe that shit? Unreal.

http://www.vikingsfanshop.com/images/products/1401_large2.jpg
And then don’t get me started on the god damn pink jersey. Fuck me, why not just sell dildos on the team’s site instead? It would be pretty much the same thing. Have Jan pose with one in jean shorts and a sly smile on his face. Bitches would buy that shit off the racks in no time, and then I wouldn’t have to look and pink fucking jerseys anymore. Gross.

So, yeah, yellow jerseys are fucking out. Get the throwbacks in, now.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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