I received this e-mail yesterday, and since I’m partially brain dead and can only make score predictions that read “Dick3 – Sy78rup”, I don’t think I could possibly win this without some help. Anyway, here’s what the e-mail said followd by some key editor’s notes:
“Hi, [Very formal-Ed.]
“We here at the SeatGeek Blog [What?-Ed.] are asking all of the NFL bloggers out there for their predictions on both the score and the MVP of Super Bowl XLV and we will award a prize to the winner! [Blow jobs for everyone!-Ed.]
More after the jump . . .
“Prize: Tickets for you and a friend to one (1) event of your choice, up to $300 in total value. Tickets must be available for purchase on SeatGeek. [Have not looked. Might only include IMAX show at Science Museum.-Ed.]
“How to Enter: Respond to this email with your predictions on the final score of the game [Thirdy-twelve to Smarch. See, told you I'm bad.-Ed.] and the MVP of the game [Mike Tomlin count?-Ed.] by 11:59 PM EST on February 1st. The predictions will be published on our blog on February 2nd. [See also: Let's predict something to make us look like cock boys.-Ed.] We will email everyone who submits a prediction a link to the blog post containing the predictions once the predictions are published. [PREDICTION. That is all.-Ed.] In order to be eligible to win the prize of $300 in tickets, you will need write a blog post linking to the post with all of the predictions and to SeatGeek.com by 11:59 PM EST on February 5th. [.... Oh. I didn't actually get that far into it. I have to do work now? At least we'll swear in it.-Ed.]
“Scoring System: The winner will be the person who picks the winning team and is closest to the total final score. MVP prediction followed by the total points for the winning team will act as tie breakers. In the event that there is still a tie, we will select one of the entries at random.
“Just a reminder that SeatGeek.com is a ticket search engine that helps fans ….. [And on, and on, and on. Doesn't matter.-Ed.]
So there you go. Help me make a final score prediction and name an MVP. The more ridiculous the better, but if I actually end up winning, I’ll give the tickets away too, because I don’t do anything besides sit around, masturbate, play video games, and drink myself to Forever Alone tears.
So, what’s your guess?