Everson The Magical Griffen Doesn’t Want to be Tased, Bro!

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“There is nothing quite like the night sky of Los Angeles, the City of Angels and former USC quarterbacks who now play for a green football team in New York who once allegedly raped a co-ed. No, the air isn’t clear like the mountains, and the buzz isn’t soothing like a babbling brook, but the life, the energy … It’s just so invigorating! It makes me want to fly to the tops of the surrounding mountains, and soar around bustling sky scrapers that define an active, living, breathing, engaging cityscape on the we …

“Ah shit, are those police lights?”

“Why hello officer, is there a problem on this fine evening? … ‘Flying too high?’ Kind sir, I’m not quite sure what that even means. Too be ‘too high’ would indicate that there is a limit to the evervescance of in individual soul traveling the celestial stars, and … No, I’m not trying to be a ‘smart ass’, this is simply my way of life, my personal philosophy if you will. You see, I firmly believe that my freedom is found amongst the other flying beasts of the world and … Wait, how did you make me pull over with a car? … Right, right, no, you can ask the questions at this moment, my fine Officer. …. No, I didn’t mean fine like that. As a Griffen I have no true sexual orientation, but rather become one with the Earth upon our version of fornicating. … Gay? As in wonderously mirthful? Yes! But I have been known to grab a male’s testicles before, if that’s what you mean and …

“A pick-up line? I’m not sure what that means. If I were to try and attract another individual there would be no try, just effort, and I would succeed. I learned these skills from a Mr. Sanchez. Quite talented and persuasive, he is. … Sir, I have no automobile to step out of. I only have myself, all that I need to survive. … Again, sir, I am not trying to ‘pull your leg’ or put the wool over your eyes! I am simply enjoying my vacation in California before I head back to Minnesota for further offseason trainin … Illegal alien? Of course not! Alien, maybe but I … Wait, but I walk on all fours! I can’t put my arms behind my back! … No, I’ll listen just … Ah!

Don’t tase me, bro!

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PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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