Get Your Penalty Flags Ready; Benny Sapp Rejoins the Team

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Who got the better end of this trade NOW, Dolphins? #VikingsBitch

In a move of clear desperation and perhaps retardedness, the Minnesota Vikings have resigned cornerback Benny Sapp to the team.

Why? Because Antoine Winfield went on injured reserve after he suffered an injury to his clavicle during the Green Bay game. Because our second best cornerback chokes the panties off his girlfriend and visits Ernest in jail. Because our secondary is so god damn bad that all of a sudden Benny Sapp looks like an upgrade. That should tell you all you need to know about the 2011 Minnesota Vikings.

http://purplejesus.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/bennysapp003.jpg?w=404However, I will never understand why the team decided to trade him away to begin with. TO RECAP! At the beginning of the 2010 season, after the team found out that Sidney Rice injured his mangina and needed to have surgery, the Vikings felt they were hurting for a receiver. One of the desperation moves they made was trading Sapp to the Dolphins for the Aztec King Greg Camarillo. I’m assuming this was done because Brad Childress was all like “Damn bro, we got Winny, Griffen, Cook, Asher, Lito Sheppard, Karl Paymah … we so good!” and then he was fired, rightfully so.

In hindsight, I think this was a bad move. Sapp was relatively cheap and played … fine? … for a nickle or dime back on this team. In fact, by the end of 2009 he even looked like he was starting to “get it” with “it” being “how to defend against a receiver without jabbing the sharp end of a knife into his back and getting a flag called on me for that.” I honestly would have been interested in seeing what he could have done with another year in Big Leslie’s system. However, given the way the defense has been playing since the beginning of 2010, it’s probably better that Sapp hasn’t been around to be corrupted by the waste of estrogen that is currently running rampant among our defensive backs. If ANYONE can bring some sausage to this pie party, it’ll be Benny Sapp.

And because of that, I welcome him back with open arms. While he may not be the smartest, or most talented, or fundementally sound, or reliable, or exciting player to watch on the team, he’s certainly better than any of our other options at this moment, and he’s crazy enough to work. For this, Big Leslie get’s a +1. That brings him to … +1.

You’re on the hot seat, fella.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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