Great Ideas: Let’s Build a Vikings Stadium Next to the Homeless Shelter

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What you see above you is a new(er?) proposed plan for a potential new Minnesota Vikings stadium to be built in Minneapolis, by Target Field, off of Highway 94, on the current Minneapolis Farmer’s Market site, which was released thanks to “SaveTheVikings.org.” I mean, THEY didn’t come up with it or anything, but they shared this neat little photo. Kudos to them.

See that? Yeaaahhh … Tailgating, RAILgating, tralgaiting? (I don’t even know what that is, but I’m sure you guys will eat it up!), tons and tons of … stalls … Which I assume are parking garages and not bathroom stalls, but I could also be wrong. There’s even a theatre and entertainment district not too far from the site! It’d be so sweet! That area of Minneapolis would become a sports mecca! Vikings, Twins, Timberwolves, YOUR CHAMPIONSHIP WINNING LYNX!! All in one spot, man. Amazing!

Except … All those homeless people. Eeeeee …

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That spot circled in red RIGHT THERE at the center of the sports mecca is Mary Jo’s Place, aka, Sharing and Caring Hands, aka, a pretty significant homeless shelter for the city of Minneapolis that, kind of awesomely, both equally pisses off county and state governments for running her place like a sovereign nation and helps tons of people out by, you know, providing them a place to stay at night when the wind chill gets to -40 degrees. Also, that blue circle? That’s the Salvation Army’s Harbor Light Center, another homeless shelter in Minneapolis. I don’t think they’ve made nearly as much noise over the course of existence like Mary Jo’s has, but they’re still … around. And likely not going anywhere.

Why so many homeless resources right there? Because of the Greyhound Bus Station underneath “4,600 Stalls,” likely. It makes sense. People come in to town broke, or lose their home and hit the streets and end up in the city. BOOM. Homeless shelter. I get it. What I don’t get is why stadium people seem to think that surrounding these locations with sporting cathedrals to capitalism is such a great idea.

Let’s get this out of the way first. I don’t give a shit where they build a Vikings stadium because I’m not going to it anyway. When you can hold your balls in sweat pants and watch your team lose in HD (which the Vikings obviously will do), why would you spend something stupid like $200 to go watch the game live? For tailgating? Don’t give a shit. Overrated. With that said, I still would prefer we just pay for the damn thing and get it done because it’s not like we’re stealing that money from schools, morons, it’d be a new tax. Get over it. On top of this, the “stadium debate” and politician talk is about as boring as imagining Julia Stiles having sex. Blech. Contrarily, no stadium debate here, just shirtless dudes. WIN.

So obviously I come from a bit of an ignorant place to debate where a new stadium should be. Arden Hills? Won’t go, and will think it’s stupid. Downtown? Won’t go, but would think it’s cool. See what I’m saying here? Downtown is the way to do it. It’s modern, hip, makes long-term sense, metropolitan, and isn’t built on a radioactive site that turned Bruce Banner in to the Hulk (true story). However, placing a new stadium in and around a homeless shelter that won’t move (seriously, Mary Jo’s ain’t going anywhere … they already tried that with the Twins stadium and she nixed it. Stubborn lady!) seems like a real dumb idea. Also? A dick move. “Hey homeless people! Look at home much fun we’re having paying millionaires millions and watching millionaires spar for our entertainment! How are your Dome Dog crumbs?! HAHAHAHA!” Yikes.

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Don’t get me wrong. The stadium still needs to be built, the Vikings need to stay here, the uniforms need to be switched to the throwbacks full time, Ponder needs to play shirtless. But … Come on. Let’s not build it here. Do the Metrodome site. It’s just, such, an, obvious choice, doods. Not that I care, because I’m not going anyway, I guess.

And seriously … Kicking homeless people when they’re down? That’s like being a Lions fan. Not cool.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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