Holy shit, it returns. Purple Jesus Diaries Fantasy Football League 2011 is ready to kick off, and we’re looking for new owners. Find out how to apply after the jump …
Haha, just kidding. If you want to know how to join the league you have to read the whole post. First, we’re going to recap.
PJD opened our first fantasy football league in 2010 with 10 inaugural owners. To say that this football league and the subsequent weekly posts (Example can be found HERE) was the most successful thing this blog has ever accomplished would be an understatement. Unless of course you count increasing everyone’s fascination with shirtless men, but that’s only been in the last couple of months or so. Fantasy league wins.
Throughout last year we had many ups and downs, but eventually Cheesehead WisconsinRob came (out) on top and took home the prize: A shirt of his choosing from the ever expanding PJD Merchandise store. Should we sell ties next? We’ll look into it. If I remember correctly, WinsconsinRob chose the Jay Cutler shirt, likely in an extra large. But hey, he won the league because the other owners were all a bunch of morons, so he gets what he wants. Congrats.
But now it is time to defend his title, and defend he will; WisconsinRob is hungry for another t-shirt to hang on his wall of victory. But YOU can help stop him! … Also, I like where this is going, turning him into a league-wide villain. We should build on this … At this point, invites have been sent out to all previous owners. Thus far, only six have re-upped with at least one known owner not being able to due to vacation. This means there may be more than some extra slots for new owners to jump in, and if you want to compete with the worst of the best of the worst, here’s how you can do it.
Over the past year, many of PJD’s readers (See: maybe two?) have made passing reference to a desire to join the league in 2011. While a normal, responsible person would have tracked all those requests, this stupid blogger did not. My bad, dudes. So if you want in, you have to prove it. PJD requests, BY EMAIL, no later than August 19th, a response to the following questions. PJD will comb over the responses and choose the most creative, original, hilarious and least threatening drafters to join the league. The following Monday, August 22nd (Or Tuesday or whenever I get around to it), these new league owners will be introduced to the community. This year we are, at minimum, adding four extra teams to expand the ownership to 14 total. If some of the 2010 assholes don’t re-up, there may be more. I don’t know. But if you want to just bypass that bullshit, I suggest you answer the following questions in a super hilarious fashion that will make me pee a little bit. No pressure:
- Online Moniker, and Link to your Twitter Account if You Have One:
- Potential Fantasy Team Name:
- Worst Fantasy Draft Pick of Your Life:
- Coolest Thing You’ve Ever Won:
- Most Hated Vikings Player:
- Favorite Viking or Football Memory:
- Your Go-To Spanking Material (Ladies submitting can obviously reference men. Hell, men can reference men for all I care).
- Finally, please attach a photo we can use to identify you, preferably the one you would use for your team avatar.
There you have it. For those returning, or not interested in playing but interested in following, here are some updates:
- The league page is public now, so any random Joe/Jane/Guido can see the standings and watch my precipitous fall from grace, week by week. Find the league HERE, and make sure you bookmark it for some reason!
- We’ve decided that this year, PJD’s team name will appropriately be titled “PJD’s Shirtless Men.” I like this one.
- The divisions have been renamed as well. This year, participants will find themselves in either the “Brandon Bernard Lovers” division or the Jullius Allen Bangers” division. Really, there are no winners.
- Scoring is still pretty much the same, but as a reminder it’s heavy on touchdowns, less on yards. We did add negative points now for interceptions and fumbles, so watch out for Cutlerfucker and his ilk. Oh, and totally don’t draft Purple Jesus before me, he fumbles ALL the time, it’d be totally a bad move, seriously.
- The draft is online at Yahoo!.com and is currently set for a time of Sunday, August 28 at 7:30 PM CST. I am open to moving the time if people would like, but Yahoo! is a bunch of cunts about how they schedule their online drafting. The other option would be to share a Google Spreadsheet and draft whenever we want, as long as assholes don’t draft people already taken. I hate that. LET ME KNOW YOUR DRAFT TIME PREFERENCE IN THE COMMENTS, PLEASE, THANK YOU.
I don’t actually think there is anything else new. We recap the week in the league here on Wednesdays typically, so check those out during the season. There have been some new shirts added to the Merchandise store, so start browsing those to figure out what booty you desire. Beyond that good luck, and let’s get this shit started.
Oh, and DEATH TO THE PACKER FAN!!!