Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the Star Tribune getting sold to the city of Minneapolis for defaulting on payments, rent, or generally not making any money? I mean, newspapers are clearly going out of business because successful blogs like PJD are taking over the world, correct? And didn’t the lead Vikings writers (Judd Zulgad and Chip Scoggins) for the newspaper recently find jobs on the radio? Doesn’t all of this add up to the Star Tribune meaning a whole lot of fucking nothing?
The answer, if your too busy finding your pee-hole with your pinky, is yes, the Star Tribune is a waste of valuable internet space, and the trees they kill for their print editions can NEVER be born again. THINK ABOUT IT. This also means that if they start featuring sweaty armpit kids like Shawn Zobel to talk Vikings that you know they’re just trying to fill space. Unfortunately, they lost all credibility by doing just so. Fortunately, we now get to make fun of our favorite Jew-fro’ed jock sniffer.
Here are some key Q&As between … whatever lazy asshole decided to interview him … and Shawn Zobel, FUCKING EXPERT DRAFT ANALYST!
What the fuck. This asshole is high as John David Booty. Let’s all remember this retarded statement when Tyron Smith goes undrafted and the Vikings maneuver to select Cam Newton. But wait! Listen to the rest of this brilliant analysis!
If you don’t know Shawn Zobel, you just got a little taste of that choad licker. The most important thing you need to know is that, after spending YEARS pimping himself to a 3 inch chub about how his mock draft has bested Mel Kiper and Todd McShay (big fucking deal with McShay … a retarded autistic cancer patient could predict a draft better), he got caught red handed cheating on his mock drafts. Infamous Rube Chatters over on the KFAN message boards found blog posts time stamped with his FINAL MOCK DRAFT! …. about a half hour after the draft had already begun. It was amazing how he got those first handful of picks right … And now he thinks he’s a draft expert. Instead, he’s a cock muffin who goes to Saint Thomas on his parents dollar and likes to quote famous athletes like Bryant McKinnie in saying “the doubters only make me stronger, yo.” No, the doubters go on to Urban Dictionary and create entries based on every fucking mistake you’ve made in your life. Oh shit, you’ve been Zobeled!
How about just stop fucking cheating and we’ll call it even. Fucking love Shawn Zobel. He always makes me feel better about myself. Anyway, if you want to read more of his queef-core writing, it’s out there. You’ll probably have to pay for it though, because he’s not nearly as cool as PJD is. If you need a good laugh, go check out the comments over on the Trib article, as well. There are some gems like this:
“Judd when are you going to do some actual work and find out what the talk behind the scenes with people in the know? Like people who actually have Vikings connections and NFL connections and not guys who work out of their parents basements?”