Purple Jesus: A King Among Betting Men

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NFL players are “technically” unemployed workers right now, if by unemployed you mean sitting on tens of millions of dollars in the bank or smartly invested in stocks, bonds, or deposits of some kind and other liquid assets. Unemployed nonetheless, and smart players are probably not trying to spend a boat load of money on frivolous items like clothing, watches, call girls, and STD vaccinations. BUT NOT PURPLE JESUS!

From a TMZ report over this weekend (and yes, I’ve already loaded up on suicide pills after visiting a TMZ website) that our very own Purple Jesus was found in Vegas this weekend BLOWING WADS OF CASH!!!!! …. Well, like $400.00 which is a lot of money to peasants, but probably not as much to a contracted NFL Viking player. Anyway, here’s the “story”:

According to TMZ.com, Peterson was in line at the Bistro Buffet at the Palms Casino and resort Friday evening when a couple noticed him and asked if he was Adrian Peterson.  He answered with, “All day.”

Peterson asked the couple and about a dozen others in line if they wanted to join him for dinner and he picked up everyone’s tab for a total of $400.

What a bad ass. “All Day.” What else is he going to say, though? “No, I’m only Adrian Peterson by day, and by night I’m a bordello owner that pimps out the tightest of vagines in the state of Texas.” That doesn’t even make sense. Simple replying “All day” is badder than Shaft walking through the door with theme music playing his entire life.

And in all seriousness, $400.00 probably isn’t that much. Well, not even probably. It isn’t that much. All of us could feasibly do that, of course if we chipped in with a year of earnings from all of us and promised not to buy something even like flour or rice. But whatever.

Also, what’s he doing in Vegas? Isn’t he going to the workouts this week? I stopped paying attention even. Stupid lockout.

Second aside, is that really the best picture someone could take during this whole event? Honestly? We live in an age where dumb asses will record a police beating in stunning high definition, but the best camera photo we can get of Purple Jesus as a Vegas buffet is a grainy image where you can’t even tell if it’s him or some other generic black guy that dies in a movie? I’m disappointed in you, world.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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