Shiancoe Enjoys Booze, McNabb

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Visanthe Shiancoe is a fine NFL player and a rather enjoyable person to follow. He seems nice like a batch of new kittens, funny like older Adam Sandler movies, and generally likeable, like 60 degree weather and finding a one dollar bill in your old pants pocket. He’s also now someone I would like to have a drink with (perhaps the blood/wine of Purple Jesus?) after we find out that he’s been trying to get Donovan McNabb drunk enough to come to the Vikings. Hey, if that’s the only way to get free agents to come here, it’s the only way to get free agents to come here:

” … at least one Vikings is working on selling McNabb on the idea of coming to the Twin Cities — Visanthe Shiancoe, Minnesota’s tight end, says he’s been having a little “alcohol talk” with McNabb about the possibility.

“You know what, as a matter of fact, I seen him out the other day, and we had a little alcohol talk, should I say, a little alcohol talk,” Shiancoe said on “Washington Post Live,” per Dan Steinberg of the Washington Post. “And I told him, ‘Hey, look, you know, Minnesota might be a good fit for you.’ I think that he would probably agree on that. Who knows if he wants to stay here anymore, right, being in those circumstances? I don’t know if he wants to or not, but I wouldn’t want to stay here. Speaking for myself, I wouldn’t want to stay in this predicament right here.”

“Alcohol Talk” is most definitely going on a t-shirt for the (potential) 2011 NFL season.

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And while that’s fantastic, many questions abound.

1. What were they drinking? Does Shanko enjoy scotch? Does he just drink that shit like a boss? Perhaps it was the purest of vodkas strained between the pubic hairs of a angel haired virgin, run through a cheese cloth made of gold, and aged in a barrel forged from the hammer of Thor?

2. Does Donovan McNabb drink Long Island Ice Teas? Does he ask for a glass of Zinfandel, some ice cubes, and a can of Sprite to make his own spritzers at restaurants? Can he not handle his booze, and is that why he was barfing on the field during the Super Bowl?

3. WOULD Minnesota still be a good fit for McNabb? He’s never been a scientist, and it only took him, what, 10 years to learn the offense in Philly? Could he jump in her in Minnesota and keep the team from finishing below .500 (I say yes)?

4. Is Shanko upset with the team’s direction of a youthful quarterback because he wants to win now and McNabb is probably the only realistic option to help? Does he not have faith in Rhett Bomar??? Me neither.

Regardless, Shanko is still one of my favorite Vikings, and it’s not just because we all saw his penis on TV. But partly. A large part, get it? Of course you do. And I know we’ve discussed the McNabb thing to death, but if Thursday comes and goes and the Vikings don’t end up with a QB in the first or second round (probably) then I am fully preparing my anus for this to occur.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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