Tweets O’ the Game – Even the Fans Need a Preaseason to Warm Up

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And that was pretty much the running joke of the evening, courtesy of Dawn Mitchell and the witty as titty Fox 9 News Crew. Or, at least I’m assuming it’s the Fox 9 team, but I still couldn’t tell you for the life of me what channel WCCO is and who’s what on KSTP or whatever else. I just know I stop flipping channels when Rena Sarigianopoulos comes on TV. RRAAWWRR! But this also proves my point. If even the Fox 9 News Team is coming up with witty jokes during the preseason on Twitter, then you KNOW that the rest of the people I follow on Twitter need to step their god damn game up so that this Tweets O’ the Week feature doesn’t suck this year. So let’s get to it.

From Brandon Mileski at KFAN, after Marcus Sherels totally redeemed himself:

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Proper framing would have been me posting the tweet he had right before this claiming death to Sherels first born child (or something very similar, I’m positive of it) but we’re clearly not very professional around here. Regardless, Mileski’s comments could probably have been magnified by triple thousand on Saturday night after Sherels looked like a rabbit shit by fumbling a punt return before this happened. People all over the internet then went on, over the next several days, to claim Sherels as the missing piece this Vikings defensive backfield needs, to which I say no Minnesota Gopher has ever been the answer to any NFL question. Really? You think Sherels is the next Antoine Winfield? You people are high.

Next is a trifecta of TarVar jokes from Jake Peterson, Matt Turner and “Mandy,” where I let YOU be the judge of which one told the joke better:

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Personally, I like the scathing, backhanded compliment technique found in Mandy’s comment. Other jokesters, like Dawn Mitchell’s friend, went on to say “Finally TarVar throws a touchdown pass to a Vikings, LULZ!” but that’s just stupid. We all know he’s thrown touchdown passes to a Viking player before, whether it be in training camp or the time the universe stopped ticking in Arizona and he threw four touchdowns. Instead, this comment gives TarVar the credit where credit is due; his improvement in color recognition and throwing to the proper jersey. Maybe TarVar’s like a secret agent or something? He’ll lose to all the teams that don’t matter to the Vikings playoff hopes, but will beat the shit out of Green Bay, Chicago, Detroit and whoever else. He’d become an honorary Viking again in my heart, but I’m not holding out hope for this to actually happen.

Next from Dan Zinski with The Viking Age (an admittedly enjoyable blog more so than the other hackneyed bullshit you find from blind homerism writers) provides some insight on the inner turmoil in Seattle:

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It’s an interesting theory. Could you imagine, two games in to the PREseason, that Seahawk receivers are already going alligator arms on TarVar because even they know how much he sucks? And we’re talking further down the chain then Sidney Rice here. This is Golden Tate, but more like Golden AIN’T, amirite gais?!?!? Personally, I would. I don’t know how you could continue to blindly follow your boss when they’re making such clearly idiotic managerial decisions like steadfastly starting TarVar over Whitehurst. What the hell, Carroll? Are you trying to get fired from this job too? Unreal.

Speaking of Carroll, Aaron Becket Solem writes:

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I don’t think so either, which is what I just don’t get. Pete Carroll is a smart guy, but he’s made some dumb moves here. I want to call hiring Bevell a dumb move, but that Vikings offense in 2009 sure looked sexy. Was it all Favre’s doing? Probably, but how is anyone supposed to know? Coaches get all the credit anyway. And not even Carroll is dumb enough to hire Childress. Regardless, his next book is going to be titled “God Dammit You Ruined My Career, Tarvaris Jackson.” I’ll buy it.

From LuvMNSports (I think he’s from Wisconsin) comes this nugget of wisdom:

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Which, while blunt, is true. I’m trying to not get my hopes up and think that the Vikings could actually amount to anything this season. When I see McDonovan toss laser balls to Purple Jesus, trick lobs to Rudolph, and the entire offensive unit act semi-competently, I get confused though. And can you blame me? I’m falling for the same bullshit all of us fall for every year. With that being said, if the Vikings WERE to have a real chance this season, it sure as hell wouldn’t be with anyone BUT McNabb starting at QB. I thought both Ponder and Webb looked MINUTELY better than the week prior, but could you imagine what this team would look like with either of them starting? PPPFFFTTT! We’d be worse than Seattle! We’d have to turn to TarVar as a veteran presence! Yao Ming Face! I don’t want to see either of those guys on the field this year unless it’s some mind blowing, crazy ass trick play with Webb as a wildcat option or receiver. THAT’D BE AWESOME AND ACCEPTABLE.

From Minnesota Sports comes this:

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I don’t know who David Palmer is (is he a rapper?) so I’ll take this as a bad sign.

Finally, we’re going to do a “ReTweet of the Game” that focuses on the most ReTweeted comment from yours truly on Twitter, as a way to gauge how hilarious I know I am, and to see whether or not anyone gives a shit ever about anything I ever say (spoiler alert: no). This week’s retweet from PJD is:

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BRENT HALLMAN YOU ARE A SAINT FOR THAT. And it’s true!

Make sure to continue live tweeting during the game, as your seemingly anonymous comment may end up on an anonymous blog! Afraid we’re not following you on Twitter? We’re probably not, and I just don’t know it. Leave your Twitter handle in the comments. And make sure to follow us on Twitter as well, retweet our funny things (or idiot things, whatever) and mention us when needed. More next week.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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