Alright “Vince Young”, i that’s you’re real name. I don’t know who put you back on Earth or what kind of crazy ass magic powers you recently found out you had, but you should be using them to win games against shitty AFC South teams and not to corrupt and tempt the only pure thing that has been associated with Minnesota.
Yes, Vince Young is working out with Purple Jesus.
OK, on the surface, this isn’t a big deal. But there are several layers to this news-in-passing story that gives me a rage boner.
1. Young was a University of Texas hero for his Rose Bowl escapades and winning a National Championship by making Reggie Bush look like a bitch when he tried to lateral that ball on a return. Remember that shit? What a moron. Purple Jesus played college ball at the epicenter of human development (and thus, the most backwards place on the planet) Oklahoma. These two schools hate each other, rightfully so. SO WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT TOGETHER? Also, fuck Teas.
2. I’m pretty sure Purple Jesus still spends time turning ice water into scotch, or whatever he does these days, but Vince Young is evil and just drinks Jack Daniels in clubs with his shirt off. On second thought … he might be the perfect quarterback for a stadium in Minneapolis …
3. What the hell are they practicing? Taking turns running the ball? I mean, I know Young isn’t practicing throwing passes out in the flat and we all know Purple Jesus isn’t catching footballs, either. IT’S JUST THE TRUTH PEOPLE. And it doesn’t mean I love him less.
Either way, I don’t like it. There’s been chatter about bringing a veteran quarterback to Minnesota to compete (or teach!) Christian Ponder for this upcoming year. That may or may not happen, but when the talk about that quarterback being Vince Young starts, I think we all agree that we’d rather have our first round investment get steamrolled by Suh and Fairely over having to put up with TarVar.20. Gross.