Warcraft Wednesday: Kluwe Fines Cullen

http://purplejesus.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/kluwe-fines-cullen-2011.jpg
OK. First, and in all honesty, I have no idea what the hell is going on here. All I know is that those special team meetings at Winter Park have to be weird, different and probably sexy, and I think I like them. You don’t have to know what something is to like it. Just look at Matthew Broderick! He still somehow likes Sarah Jessica Horseface! Clearly, he is also a better human being, albeit maybe dumber, than I am.

Regardless, this is another white board art image our second favorite Minnesota Viking posted this past week prior to the Chargers loss. In it, it charts day by day transgressions (I think) that are to be charged to Vikings long snapper Cullen Loeffler, tagged with a monetary fine. They include such notable misdemeanors as:

  • Kluwe being a **** (I’m guessing “dick”)
  • Pouting Pac-16 (I also hate that idea!)
  • Having a good day (How dare he!)
  • Leaving towel behind (Sounds sexy and shirtless)
  • Trying to be fish and chips (……… I don’t even know what that means)
  • Not being Derek Jeter (FACT)
  • See the tip grasp the fat (……………………………….. what?)

All of these, of course, amount to a hefty fine for Loeffler. Even worse news? We here at PJD have found even MORE reasons to fine the long snapper, which we hope Kluwe would approve of. Our list, along with the amount of the fine, after the jump, and make sure to add your own in the comments!

  • Being unable to get a tan ($75)
  • DVRing Rizzoli & Isles ($100)
  • Owning a Colorado hat ($60)
  • Refusing to upgrade from his first gen Playstation Portable ($200)
  • Not having pictures of his wife in his wallet (I’m assuming he’s married, such a good looking guy like that and all …) ($300)
  • Driving a Chevy Aveo as a town car ($25)
  • Having a stamp collection at home ($450)
  • Never having seen Full Metal Jacket in it’s entirety ($1,000)

Anything else? Let’s not let that high falutin long snapper get away with this behavior! Let’s hear it!

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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