Is Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe on a book tour or something? He’s done more interviews than any other player in recent memory. Do you think Purple Jesus gets jealous? Does Kluwe feel any pressure from Pondexter and his shirtlessness creeping in on his interview time? I doubt it. He’s still a rookie, and Kluwe is still the baddest shut your mouth this side of a drum circle (not really sure what that means, but roll with it).
For instance, in another recent interview he did with the Pioneer Press’ Bob Sansevere *insert sour face*, Kluwe opened up on a number of different items, including his feelings on porn stars, McRib, and Occupy Wall Street, all while dropping not-so-subtle hints about how he wants us all to have a Tweet-up at his next concert. Read on for details:
First, some of the choice quotes, of course starting with the porn references:
- Reacting to a news item about New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski being shirtless in a bedroom when he had his picture taken with a porn star, Vikings punter Chris Kluwe tweeted, “What’s the big deal about Gronkowski taking a picture with a porn star? They’re people, and fans, too.”
So true. And something that Sansevere didn’t bring up (big surprise, toeing the company line, Bob!) is that there are of course plenty of MALE porn stars too that probably are “in” on the entertainment industry, and could probably easily get access to VIP NFL parties, take pictures with players whose first and last names both start with B, and that probably wouldn’t cause much of a raucous as the Gronkowski incident did. And, uh, maybe media people haven’t noticed, but porn stars tend to have large breasts, and that tends to be pretty interesting. Just like pictures of a SHIRTLESS CHRISTIAN PONDER tend to help my page views. We all have weaknesses people, just roll with it.
Kluwe also did have nice things to say about McNabb, even though he like his Chunky Soup:
- Bob Sansevere: I notice you’re still wearing No. 4. You gave Donovan McNabb your No. 5 when he joined the team. He’s not going to be playing much now. Have you thought about going to him and asking if he wants to switch numbers?
- Warcraft: No. That would be kind of disrespectful. However Donovan performed this year, he has been a very good quarterback throughout his years in the NFL. I mean, he has been to a bunch of Pro Bowls. He has been in NFC championship games and the Super Bowl. He’s definitely a veteran guy who has put in his time. It’s one of those things where, yeah, I’ll take 5 back when it becomes available, but I am not in any big rush to get it back
God, he’s just such a good person, that Kluwe. SO HUMBLE, SO WISE. That’s also pretty much the same thing I would have done, except I would have McRibbed McNabb a bit more about not referencing Tripping Icarus as many times as he should have, and if McNabb also didn’t make that donation to the Muscular Dystrophy Society?…. Last straw, man. Don’t think Kluwe doesn’t have more tackles than you this season because I actually don’t know if he does or not, but probably! He’ll tackle you, too!
Kluwe also chimed in on the whole Occupy Wall Street kerfuffle, and while I’m not quoting any of it here, I thought it was hilarious to see all the comments left at the bottom of the article from “real” folk who got their boxer briefs into knots because this millionaire punter is going to pretend to be a poor old blue collar worked and join the legions of people fighting for rights! Except … He’s still a punter, and he makes a million dollars a year, not $12 million a year. And even then, does that count as the “1%?” I didn’t think so, but I only follow news about celebrity nip slips and cut football players, so what do I know.
Finally, and we’ll remind people about this at a later date, but in this article Kluwe tells us very strategically that Tripping Icarus’ next show is at the 7th Street Entry on December 1, a Thursday, at 8:00 PM with two opening acts. I kind of feel like I should go because ever since he retweeted last week’s Warcraft feature, I kind of told him I’d repay him by going to a show and buying a CD, which will be available that night. So, can you say Tweet-Up? Let’s hear your thoughts on this before we fully commit.