Would You Believe Paul Allen Might Be Right?

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Resident immortal KFAN radio personality, Paul Allen, who just loves how Antoine Winfield hits at the point of attack, had some minuscule insight into the Minnesota Vikings draft plans in the upcoming NFL Draft on his show page over the weekend:

Still slaving over a hot phone [Ed. Note - Whoa, "slaving"? Someone call the Associate Press and blow this out of context quote up!], but I am edging closer to my Vikings’ 2011 Plan Late NFL Draft Opinion. Might unveil it Monday during the opening segment. Bleep like this excites me when heavy hitters point me in the right direction and a-list sources help me meander my way to the plan-late finale.

RYAN MALLETT. He’s the final piece of info on which I need closure to uncover the direction that matters most — ours. We are not taking a quarterback at 12. That’s a 100 percent guarantee. If for some reason BLAINE GABBERT slips he’d wear our colors, but that’s a super longshot. Two people who matter told me today his private meetings have gone well. Still, they know more about the off-the-field allegations than us, and it’s my belief he has put himself in some strange spots.

Two things. First, Gabbert’s off-field issues? I have never heard a thing and I followed that little pompous a-hole throughout his entire college career. Second, no quarterback at 12? Did I just predict something right??? BOOYA!

More from PA and his “insiders” after the jump:

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“Do you want Ryan Mallett to be the first pick to hit the podium in front of the public and the negatives? Very, very difficult question to answer. I was told today he throws a better ball than fellow true pocket guy JOE FLACCO. Flacco is an upstanding citizen, and that might not be the case with Mallett. Not sure on that last point, but with that throwing accuracy and arm strength he would be top-10 material if there weren’t rumors bouncing around.”

This is probably true, however with all of the dipshit college kids on message boards I know (the internet is a serious place, you know), I put more trust that Mallett was in fact a huge fan of the nose candy through his entire collegiate career, so much to the point that it makes Tony Montana look like he’s sniffing Pixie Stix … OK, I actually can’t verify that, but it’s a wonderful image to imagine!

“Seattle is the wildcard team for us. The steam indicates there’s a strong chance the Seahawks draft a QB here. My philosophy all along has been to trade back twice in the first round and fall into a place you can take a quarterback. Say JULIO JONES happens to be available at 12. Maybe you call St. Louis and offer him up for a first-round swap and also nab their third? I’d be cool with that. Know when we get around Seattle that’s when it gets hot and heavy for LOCKER and/or Mallett. If we trade back twice and get to 24 or below we could house one of those guys there.”

I’m against this. Maybe I’ll get around to laying out my draft philosophy before the actual draft happens this year (if not, I’ll just Zobel it and put an old time-stamp on the post or something to make it look like I actually did it), but I’m of the mind that if you don’t have a chance to grab one of the top 10 consensus QBs in this draft at 12 (or have a reasonable offer to trade up a couple of spots) then you don’t bother with it and pick up McNabb, Palmer, Vince, or Orton through trades. The rest of the guys are not worth it. I have people who keep telling me about Jake Locker, but we’ve already talked about how much he sucks here, ladies, so let it go.

I would also say Arizona is a pretty big obstacle to our draft plans, but that’s neither here nor there.

“TINY JOE has been offering me Mallett stock for months, and I looked at it like it was a Ponzi Scheme. It may be a legit investment, and I may be buying soon.”

Well, Tiny Joe should be fired for that crap. Mallett can GTFO. The only reason I’d want him on the team is if his girlfriend has super huge cans, and at this time I can neither confirm nor deny the truth of this. Any have evidence? If so, and only then, will I reconsider and Tiny Joe can have his job back.

So what, do you agree or disagree with Jeff Dubay’s former sidekick?

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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