That’s it. Blow it up. Fire everyone, again. Bring back Childress. The future of the Minnesota Vikings is already in disarray. Look at this picture! Look at it! Look at the shiny new toys wearing Vikings purple and then look at your own face in the mirror! See that disappointment?? That’s because the grand plan of rebuilding this stupid team with a new franchise quarterback is already over! Look at that pass! Look at how high it sails! What a terrible throw! He’s not even being rushed by a defensive end! And look at how lazy that throw is? What, you think you can just loft those passes to a receiver in the NFL? Only Phillip Rivers gets to do that! Dammit, Pondexter, you’ve ruined everything!
Haha, just kidding. That was a dramatic overreaction for the purpose of grabbing your attention. It probably didn’t work. Rather, this is a picture that Kyle Rudolph posted to his Twitter account over the weekend. I wasn’t really following, but I think it’s from a rookie photoshoot or something for football cards. Football cards? Name me one person that ever collected those. What a waste of a beautiful tree. Anyway, more “insight” after the jump:
This picture is interesting for a couple of reasons. First, clearly Pondexter and Notre Douche have made contact. Did Pondexter share any of the playbook with Rudolph? Did they go over the tight end plays? Did Notre Douche get a Great White Dong when he looked through the playbook and saw all of the plays for the tight end? I’m guessing yes. The question of course remains then whether or not Pondexter and 6 Inches remained in contact beyond this photoshoot. Again, I would venture to say yes because we already know Four Eyes (I actually have no idea if Ponder wears glasses, but it sounds like he’s a nerd, right?) is trying to get in contact with Percy and Squid, and has even talked to Purple Jesus about work outs during the lock-out, largely because he’s got the biggest proverbial balls on campus with the play book. For a new QB, getting access to that thing was like being the only white guy in an inner city school with a pot dealer who ONLY sells kind buds in junior high. Anyone? No? The other silly thing about Ponder working out with receivers and teammates and stuff is that he apparently sent a Tweet tn this weekend telling to contact him, probably to get together and throw the old pigskin around, not touch dicks or anything, which Brandon would probably do. That’s ironic (the workout part, not the penis part) becauseis a huge candidate to get his shit cut from the team in a heart beat. Why waste time showing him the play book?
The other noticeable part about Notre Douche pictures here are the numbers. Pondexter is wearing number 7, and Rudolph 82. We’ve already established that it’s a plus/minus Pondexter is wearing 7. On one hand, god damn anything that reminds us of TarVar. On the other hand, hey, it’s a tough economy and if this just means we can RE-USE TarVar jerseys by taping over his name and chicken-scratching in Pondexter, I’m all for it. Of course, if you had a TarVar jersey to begin with, that’s your own damn problem. The other issue of course is Rudolph wearing 82, the second worse number in recent memory for the Vikings that I could think of, obviously because of Troy Williamson. Will Rudolph be better than TWilly? Well, it won’t be hard. Just catch like three touchdown passes in five years and you blow by that turd cutter.
Still though, it’s a bad association. And while the entry to this post was CLEARLY in jest about blowing the whole thing up, if for any reason either of these players end up looking like their number counterparts during their career, I will flip my shit. That, I promise you.