A Viking in England: What to Expect When Minnesota’s Calling in 2013

Vikings in London

On Sunday, very discretely and in an effort to slip in under the ugly loss suffered by the Purple, the franchise marketing team announced that the Minnesota Vikings will be playing a "home" game in London in 2013. The Vikings will be hosts to an unnamed opponent thus far at a date to be later disclosed, when they play in historic Wembley Stadium as part of the NFL's "Let's get more people to buy shit because the owner's aren't rich enough" efforts. They will join the the Jacksonville Jaguars as "hosts" in London during 2013, when they take on the San Francisco 49ers.

Admittedly, picking the Vikings to play in London does kind of make sense. They will be in the middle of a stadium build, and it may be the opportune time to do a little grounds keeping around the old Domer during the anticipated two weeks or so they Vikings will have off. Slap on a road game on either side, maybe a bye week soon around there too, and you could almost build the whole damn thing in like a month!

And while it probably won't exactly happen that way, the fact still remains that the Purple are headed that way. So what can Londoners expect from what will assuredly be an exciting, young, up-and-coming squad? We break it down after the jump:

As occurs any time people travel abroad, visit new lands, and experience new cultures, there will naturally be a lot of culture adjustments to get use to. For the Vikings, the time change will take a little bit before it seems normal (drink lots of water, and stay up with the sun!), while adjusting to "Old Foggy London-Town" and it's rainy weather may bring with it some Seasonal Affective Disorder, but probably no more so than being in Minnesota all winter. These are all expected things the Vikings will have to get use to and learn about old England. But what will Englanders have to learn about the Vikings?

- Percy Harvin and Jerome Simpson (if he's still around next year) won't be able to make it until the second quarter of the game because their luggage will get lost in Amsterdam.

- No, that is not an ogre from one of your Monty Python tales, it's actually Phil Loadholt with dreadlocks, eating mutton.

- Some players may look like distant cousins to you, but that's only John Sullivan, John Carlson, Kyle Rudolph, Harrison Smith, and Robert Blanton, because they all played for your sister-university team, Notre Dame.

- Did Big Ben move across town?! No, no, that's just Jamarca Sanford taking his pants off.

- Yes, that cornerback, Antoine Winfield, most likely has distant relatives from England with a name like that.

- You'll be amazed at how wonderfully Chad Greenway fits into the London culture, thanks solely to his teeth.

- *Gasp!* In 50 years have you never seen James Bond walk so brazenly around town like you will during the week the Vikings are in town! But wait, do a double check, the attractive, shirtless man is actually just Christian Ponder, Vikings quarterback!

- Charlie Johnson is going to eat all of the fish and chips in the canal.

- Do not let Kevin Williams on the big Ferris wheel thing. It will topple. Luckily, we have a guy that likes to lasso things, so he'll lasso it as it's falling and tie it back up. Such dramatic flair!

- You guys may think you're in the middle of another Crusades when we come to town but that won't actually be the case. It's just the return of Purple Jesus. He's actually just looking for his Holy Grail. Give it to him, please?

Hope you guys are looking forward to it! I know we are. Largely because it'll be one of the only prime time games that we're likely to have next season. Merrrp. Oh well.


About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.