Abort, Abort! “Blair Witch Project” is Canceled!

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You guys, I have terrible news. We recently did our draft recap feature thing (I wouldn’t even call it that …) on new Vikings kicker Blair Walsh, and we asked for people to come up with nicknames for him. The most popular option tossed around on the internet has EASILY been the “Blair Walsh Project,” but I have terrible news for you … We may not be as smarty pants as you all think.

From the special teams horses mouth itself, Chris Kluwe, when I asked if he’s been called by this nickname yet, he had this devestating news to deliver:

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NO, DAMMIT NOOOOOO! Back to the drawing board.

In trying to think of other possible nicknames for Blair Walsh Project, I also checked in with Kluwe on one of the other names tossed around in “Walsh the Line.” He had this to say:

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It’s a valid point. We can’t make Walsh sound COOL right now. He hasn’t done anything! And I would guess, internally and unofficially on the team, he’s still just a huge piece of shit for putting Ryan Longwell out of a job even though it obviously totally isn’t his fault, but let’s make fun of him for it anyway in a LAX BRO kind of way. Even if we don’t want to go that far, the fact remains that he hasn’t EARNED a cool nickname yet. So we need to come up with FUNNIER ideas, INSULTING ideas, ideas that are hurtful to kids on a playground but not to grown ass men from Georgia with their southern accents. So far, I’ve got these (which are not promised to be any good, mind you. Have you read this blog?):

  • Walsh Yourself
  • Walsh Hard: The Blairy Cox Story
  • The Walshing Dead
  • Dead Man Walshing
  • A Walsh to Remember
  • Where the Walsh Things Are
  • Walsh This Way
  • Walsh Like An Egyptian
  • Don’t Your Blair
  • Blair-Spray
  • Blair-Devil
  • Truth or Blair
  • Paul Blairt
  • Neighborhood Walsh

Either way, let’s get cracking. We failed on our first attempt, and so we MUST DO BETTER! And by better, I generally mean worse, which is fine too.

So, what else you got for a Blair Walsh nickname?

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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