AJ Hawk is a Bad Football Player, and a Jerk

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Hey, does anyone remember that linebacker, AJ Hawk, who plays for the Green Bay Packers? Yeah, that guy that looks like Rocky Dennis and does his job as well as 2012 Adam Sandler? Yeah, that guy. Well, BIG SURPRISE, but he still totally sucks at playing football.

And he’s a huge jerk-off.

The above video is from a recent charity golf event that a bunch of Ohio State alum were at, including previously mentioned dick face, Troy Smith, Doug Datish (who the fuck?), and Bobby Carpenter. They did the whole dress up like country club members, pretend we totally love golf, bro, and then played some impromptu football. Well, maybe AJ Hawk should have stuck to being the worst at golf, because the last thing he needs is additional tape of him being terrible at football.

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Watch this thing again. Keep in mind where Hawk is likely at during the beginning of the film, because he’s off camera until his big scene. To begin, you have the quarterback (I’m assuming it’s Smith) who takes the ball and offers a lazy pump fake to his receiver. As he finally “throws” the ball (I put quotations around throws because he wobble-ducked that thing in there like me throwing an NFL size ball at a tailgate), the camera pans and you see his targeted receiver WIDE OPEN with AJ Hawk frozen in his damn caveman tracks. Why? Because that pump fake was so outstanding? Because the speed on that ball made it just a blur for him? How could Hawk not even get into position to put a hand up like he just doesn’t care, and swat the ball out of the air (MC Stafford wrote that last line, BTW)? TERRIBLE.

But that’s not even the worst part. The worst – and really most telling – part is that Hawk then BLINDSIDES the receiver into a fucking pond. Oh! A cheap shot after you got made a fool! What a surprise from this shit stain and a Green Bay Packer! That must just be what they teach you in Osh Kosh or wherever the scrotum your team’s training camp is. And really? No arm tackle? What are you, a Vikings defensive backfield player? Unbelievable.

So bang up job, AJ Hawk. Not only are you and your sister ugly as sin, you also welcomed that shirtless lollygagger Brady Quinn into your family. You all deserve each other.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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