Devious New Hidden Costs Found in Proposed Metrodome Stadium Plan

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The stadium debate that I’m not paying a bit of attention to is certainly heating up, so says some random article I’ve cherry picked to read!

Most recently, a push for more serious consideration of a retrofitted Metrodome site was found to have many, many hidden costs in the plan by Minnesota Vikings officials. In a letter written to Minneapolis city officials who have helped put the plan together, Vikings president Mark Wilf outlined concerns he noted were not identified in the city’s proposal, which in total would account for an additional $67 Million dollars to a new stadium that is not currently anyone’s financial burden. SCOUNDRELS! It sounds like the city was trying to sneak in the additional costs of TCF Bank stadium upgrades, parking needs, and other items.

But was that ALL the city was hiding? $67 Million dollars is a lot of money, and as we dug deeper and deeper through the letter the Vikings wrote to the city, even WE were surprised by the additional costs snuck in to the proposed Metrodome site. For this BREAKING REPORT DUDES, see what PJD found after the jump …

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While the full letter from Mark Wilf to the city of Minneapolis is included below for you to diligently cross reference our fake extensive research, the main details of the hidden costs for the proposed new Metrodome site are noted here:

  • Costs for painting specific seats around the entire stadium so an arial shot when empty would spell out “RT RYBAK”
  • Building material expenses which would update and remove the secret access tunnels from the Metrodome home team’s locker room to the University of Minnesota girl’s soccer team showers
  • Hidden metal detectors to keep Raiders fans out of Vikings’ home games provided too high of a cost
  • Additional funds were written in to the proposal to buy out the remaining contracts for former Minnesota based sports figures, including Kurt Rambis and remarkably Joe Smith and Herschel Walker
  • Four brand new, gold, Joe Mauer statues to appease the local sports hero, displayed outside of each gate and pointing towards Target Field, which no one gives a shit about
  • Money to fix the crazy amount of pot holes on 94 Westbound, but only from the Saint Paul border to the 5th Street exit
  • Contract terms for Atlas to continue holding up the teflon roof during snow storms became too steep, and uncertain going forward
  • Tons and tons and tons of illegal weed supplies for Percy Harvin, obviously
  • Hidden details of Michele Bachman campaign support

Clearly, many of these proposed expenses were over the line and unacceptable to the Wilf’s. As a result, fans and organization members continue to wait on good word in hopes that the stadium issue will be settled once and for all, and the team will stay, and Michele Bachman will get anal warts.

The full letter from the Wilf’s to the city of Minneapolis:

Rybak Johnson Letter 1-9-12

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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