New Minnesota Vikings kicker Blair Walsh (who we’re still working VERY HARD to come up with a proper nickname for) recently did a 20-questions thingy with the always revered and HIGHLY RESPECTED (I use caps locks as my sarcasm font, FYI) Bob Sansevere of the currently VERY SUCCESSFUL media outlet, Star Tribune. Whew. Anyway, Baby Blair just, like, said a whole bunch of weird shit that is supposed to let us get to know him a little bit better, but – if we’re being honest – I’m actually a little freaked out and/or disappointed with several of his answers. For example:
|It would be “The Flash” if I could be like any superhero. I would love to be the fastest thing there is. That would be awesome.|
ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW. I know you’re a kicker and shit, but The Flash? GET OUT. Why not just pick Hawkeye or something else terribly stupid. Superman is just as fast and could probably kick the ball farther if needed. Batman would create some robot leg extension to help him kick it, and Spider-Man could flip kick the ball 70 yards, easily. And you pick The Flash? The guy who would probably run up to close to the ball too quickly and throw the timing of the long snapper and KLUWE all off? Terrible, terrible selection.
More after the jump:
|My favorite cereal definitely is Reese’s Puffs. You can’t beat them. Reese’s Pieces. Reese’s anything I’m a fan of.|
My god. Our children have no future. Think about how this question happened. “Hey, Walshing Dead, you can pick any cereal that has ever been created ever in the world. EVER. What’s your favorite cereal, then?” And then Blair says, “Oh, you know, Reese’s Puffs! LOL!” WHY HAS GOD FORSAKEN ME??! Lucky Charms, Frosted Mini Wheats, Count Chocula, Cookie Crisps … Literally ANY of these would have been a more acceptable answer. What is wrong with you Southerners?
When asked about his favorite types of music:
|I like everything. I like country music a lot. Probably hip-hop and rap. I’m not a big rock guy. I also like Latino dance music.|
Blair. That is an answer a woman provides when saying what he favorite music is. “I like everything! Tee hee!” No. You say, “I mostly listen to Iron Maiden, Metallica, Guns and Roses, and Def Leppard. DEF LEPPAAARRRDDD!!!!” Ha, just kidding. I’d rather listen to Elton John classics.
Anyway, the Q&A is plenty fine over there. He also talks about golfing, video gaming, “The League,” and liking Pierce Brosnan as his favorite actor and person who played Bond. I mean I get it, but … Sean Connery? Come onnnn ….
So read it, give him crap, but then say welcome Blair Walsh! We’ll like you as long as you don’t miss chip shot field goals.