As four of you know, Purple Jesus Diaries also has a merchandise shop over on Spreadshirt that goes woefully uncared for. It isn't that the designs or the products are bad or anything. In fact, that's actually far from the truth. I own a couple of these shirts that I designed for myself, and I really like them. I've had the Purple Jesus shirt for like two plus years and it's held up amazingly well. My wife even has one, too, even if she just wears it while doing woman stuff, like cleaning. *shrug* Point being, the newer designs have just been slow coming, and that's unfortunate for you. YOU DESERVE BETTER.
And so that's what we're going to do today. I'm hoping that collectively we can all come up with an idea for the greatest Minnesota Vikings fan gift for this holiday season. Then, because you're obviously in the giving spirit, you'll buy it and I'll make like .20 cents off of the deal and feel like a real champ. But really, it'll be worth it.
So how do we do this? By joining our power together after the jump. WE'LL NEED NICKNAMES, PEOPLE! So get your thinking caps on.
Here's the idea. Everyone seems to love those t-shirts that list the five or so names on the front all related to one thing. Like the shirt that sold years ago with the top five QBs taken in the 1999 NFL draft, which all pretty much sucked over time (Hi, Daunte!). I'm sure you've seen some examples of these. They tend to be well received and not offensive like most of the other stuff we do around here. I figure that would be a happy middle-ground for us to reach to achieve for a Vikings fans' gift this year.
So my proposal is to do something similar with the 2012 Vikings team. Instead though, we try to add our own spin on the team and use the best nicknames we can come up with and add them in that style, and then vote on what items we want to be able to purchase them on. I mean, t-shirts be a given, yes? But maybe a coffee mug? Poster? Messenger bag?! Probably not that last one. But you get the idea. So let's get started
PROPOSED NICKNAMES: I'm going to list the player and the nicknames that I am aware of, of which ones I think we should use. In the comments, I'd like you to list your top five nicknames you'd want on a shirt like this, as well as what items you would want to buy this on. Doing so TOTALLY means you have signed a contract to purchase said product at a later date, but I can't hire Brad Pitt to break your ankles if you don't, so you'll probably get away without buying it if you end up not liking it. Whatever. So here we go:
Adrian Peterson: Purple Jesus, All Day
Percy Harvin: Sir-Smokes-A-Lot, Lawd Have Percy, Have Mercy Percy
Chris Kluwe: ChrisWarcraft, Sparklepony
Blair Walsh: Care Blair, Little Big Leg (I will reject all suggestions of "The Blair Walsh Project," because you're dumb)
Christian Ponder: Shirtless Ponder
Matt Kalil: Kalil Drogo
Everson Griffen: Magical Griffen
McLeod Bethel-Thompson: The CPA
Harrison Smith: Dirty Harry
Audie Cole: The Cole Train
Toby Gerhart: White Lightning, Albino Rhino
Joe Webb: Spider Webb, Not Ponder
Jarius Wright: Coaches Bane, The Wright Stuff, Isle of Wright
Leslie Frazier: Big Leslie
Anyway, you get the idea. These are just the handful of ones I am aware of. I mean, we didn't even touch on Chad Greenway, or Zygi Wilf, or Ragnar either, so if you have any for them or any others for the above mentioned people, put it in the comments.
MATERIAL: I did a quick glance and here are some of the items that we could put this 2012 Memorial Vikings list on from Spreadshirt:
- Kitchen Aprons
- Gym Shorts
- T-shirts, obviously, men and womens
- Santa Hats
- Tote Bags
- Dog Handkerchiefs
- And more
So just name it. If I were to make a vote (and this is an example of what you should follow), I would leave my vote in the comments to look like this. Look, I even made a two second mock up so you can see what it would look like. It won't look exactly like this though, I promise! We'll do you good with better design. Just an example though to get things rolling:
WANT: Men's shirt
Little Big Leg
Pretty simple, right? I promise, once there seems to be a consensus, we'll do our damnedest to make it look not suck, and have it be a worthwhile gift for your favorite Vikings fan. You dad will be so confused, it will be worth every penny.