Important Christian Ponder News

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In what might just be the most significant piece of news for the Minnesota Vikings this offseason, quarterback Christian Ponder dropped an INCREDIBLE piece of news in these out-take clips from Vikings.com’s podcast from Mike Wobschall, the aptly titled “Wobcast.” I unfortunately cannot embed the video directly here for you to view and get excited on your own, because Vikings.com is anal (*pft!*) about that type of stuff for some reason.

Instead, I’m just going to titilate you with anticipation and make it all intense until you click on the “Read More” button and find what, truly, is some FANTASTIC news:

SHOOTER MCGAVIN IS HERE TO STAY!!

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In his out-takes video with Mike Wobschall, Christian Ponder committed to bringing the gun fingaz back in 2012 for his touchdown dance.

This, of course, is fantastic news because it is so completely unacceptable and douchey. Not unacceptable meaning that Ponder can’t have a touchdown dance by any means. Quite the opposite, in fact. Many great players have touchdown dances that have gone down in infamy. Cock-taster Aaron Rodgers has turned his moronic championship belt “Discount Double Check” move into a huge promotional opportunity. Purple Jesus does his identifiable kneel-down-pray-to-Dad move, and even Percy Harvin does his best sacrificial cross impression. All good, but none that are equally mocking, throw-back hilarious, and personality encompassing as the gun fingaz.

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As you can tell from the rest of the video if you go and watch it on Vikings.com, Ponder is all kinds of fratty. He’s got the toe-shoes, makes dopey faces, is gangly and weird and awkward and all sorts of stuff. I imagine he laughs a lot like Mike Tice, too. “U-huh-huh-huh” and all that stuff. Which is fine, but then you have to have a touchdown dance that reflects upon this, and the gun fingaz do not disappoint. A call back to Billy Madison and the douche-tastic Shooter McGaving, it’s like Ponder has become the physical embodiment of a make-believe character from the early/mid 90’s. What more could you ask for?

And how awesome will it be when Ponder drives the team down the field to throw a game winning touchdown against the Packers and drops a pair of gun fingers at the Packers bench? “Ptew-ptew, suck on that Rodgers!” I like it, because that’s exactly what I would do, too.

If he doesn’t do it in the Super Bowl on a game winning drive, I’ll be disappoint, but can forgive him if he ends up tearing his shirt off ala Brandi Chastain. That would be awesome.

Either way, everyone celebrate! Gun Fingaz is here to stay! Hurray!

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PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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