Packers Fans Drive in Style

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In case you need a reminder of how stupid Green Bay Packer fans are, check out this piece of dump car that was highlighted over on Total Packers recently. WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT. What is the purpose of doing this? What are you trying to achieve? Are you trying to tell people you pass on the highway that you’re a Packers fan? Would – perhaps, and just hear me out on this – maybe just ONE balls ugly bumper sticker suffice? What about a tasteful single window decal that goes over the back glass in an unobstructed manner? You know, so you can still see shit when you’re driving and not kill other people?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, PACKER FANS?!

There are many things I hate about this car. First, the off-color door handles. You dick zit. What are you doing? Is it to help you see your door handles when you sidle up to your fine piece of automobile post-townie bar drinking, blurry eyed and over the limit? So you know which grabby things to grab at to drive yourself home drunk? Or did you do that purposefully so your handles would artistically match your separately colored trunk? I MEAN ARE YOU SERIOUS WITH THIS SHIT. And gray? …. Why? I’m pretty sure that’s only like a tertiary color to the Vikings, and definitely a secondary color to the Lions. So you have green, yellow, black, and gray. YES, NICE CHOISES DUDE, THIS CAR IS TOTALLY BOSS.

I’m also a “real big fan” of the bookmark sized stickers along the baseboard on the door. It’s like a perfectly placed crown molding for your car. Such grace and debonair! What a fine ride! And the flags? I’m pretty sure those are used to make the car look like it’s driving faster. Don’t ask me why it works, but I’ve read PLENTY of scientific journals on it, and it’s a proven fact, OK man? Chill.

But as bad as this car is, Total Packers at least agrees. The good thing about those guys over there who I’ve never met or even e-chatted with before is that they aren’t afraid to call one of their own a total ball licker, just like Purple Jesus Diaries:

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Seriously, this car. Saw it by the Saints stadium in St. Paul once. What is wrong with you people.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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